Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Thug In A Tux

poetry is a rant all dressed up in
co-ordinated colors and accessories
proper, respectful, no spitting allowed

a thug in a tux

passion, hog tied under a cumberbund
patent leather jack boots, squeaking
tip toes stepping lightly in prancy dances
dissing, with diction and precision,
the hoi polloi's rendition of "how it be"

affected pretensions
honored with sap, and toasted high
while peeping enviously
at the naked and raw rants
of a raging and unkempt belligerent

Editing stage: 

Comments

Sounds like Poetry in motion. I'm not so with the belligerent poetic rant. I don't knock it either. I'd rather be Maya Angelo. You write good poetry that's out there but bring it all home to reality.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

one point: I used belligerent as a noun...a fighter, a combatant, (usually used about war)
it could be the war on poverty, or someone fighting against the governments policies concerning that war...which could potentially make Maya Angelo a "belligerent" (noun)...not necessarily making her a belligerent poet (adjective)....a subtle distinction I felt I should point out.

otherwise, I appreciate your response, and thoughts.

I'm not very good at critiques, and don't often comment on other's works. I am fairly shy about corresponding. Please don't take it personally.

sincerely,

Al

author comment

Im the same way. But neopoet mostly Jess and Wesley has forced me to venture from my comfort zone.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

I will memorize this.
That's the highest praise I may offer.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

I can hardly remember my phone number, let alone memorize even one of my own pieces, so I offer my praise for your ability to memorize and recall anything nonessential.

thank you for your generous reaction.

sincerely,

Al

author comment

I see them all the time. Thugs in tuxedos, that is. I see people all dressed up and not knowing where to go!
Or how to get there gracefully! Sometimes, on New Years' Day, They don't even know where they are, let alone
where they are going. Good write! Always a fan, ~ Gee

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

thanks for dropping by

life of the street is as interesting, and intriguing as a trip to the zoo..which can be mind boggling!

chill cool with the holidaze,

Al

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.