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The thoughts of a troubled soul

Can I run away from my problems?
It chases me as a predator to a prey
Looking to devour
my human sanity,
I have no immunity
from its fangs,
which hovers around
My self-consciousness;
Breaking inner glows
Corrupting rows of thoughts

Can I be free from these shackles?
My mind is latched with spiraling
Melancholy tormenting
My soul every day,
Happiness whistles but
The aura of my troubles
Clamp-on it.
I only ask for peace,
When will I be joyful again?
Freedom is far from my grasp.

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Happiness whistles but
The aura of my troubles
Clamp-on it.

Hi, I copied this part of the poem because it grabbed at my ankles, so to speak. Made in stop dead in my tracks, not just run down the rest of the poem but slow down, savor the sadness. The wanting of peace. This was powerful. I see nothing to comment on. Just wanted to let you know you hit a soft spot for me with this. Great write.

Pegasus was a genius,
living within a suit of difference.
He liked what he was,
nodded in respect and
simply flew . . . away.

By: K. Mulroney

" I am who I am, say what I say, do what I do. With no apology."

I appreciate your review. Thanks

author comment

Since you do not specifically tell us what your problems are, they become generic, and universal, In that case, I would make the poem universal by putting it in third person, with a few edits:

Can we run away from our problems?
It chases us as a predator
Looking to devour
our human sanity,
There is no immunity
from its fangs,
which hovers around
our consciousness;
Breaking inner glows
Corrupting rows of thoughts... etc.

Most often a poem in first person works better with specifics, personal details, but this poem is too broad for that, so I see it more effective in 3rd person.


I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Thank you for your review.

author comment
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