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Thoughts...

A quick note in the morning
“I love you”
Last night's ice-creamy kiss
on my mind

'Spicy chips in my lunch-bag'

Coffee, doughnut and smiles
quiet book and radio
Cocooned in limbo alone
passing tires muted

'Orders from headquarters'

Yellow life-boats for mom
hurried working-man
Traffic-gods against us all
beep, beep, beep

“Good morning, have a nice day”

Last-cigarette smoke in the air
dry coffee-mouth
Driver's arms baking and browned
breezing on the road

Chaos and assorted feelings

Rules of the road don't apply here
home-fires burn
Fueling up for the night-shift
don't go out again

Get up and go has gone

Keys in the locks, hello's mixing
gossip and stories told
Food for the soul and the stomach
shoes in the hallway

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

It seems like years since you have written a piece inspired by your job; your observations, scenes, and descriptions.
They were my first introduction to your works back in the day.
I enjoyed the casual ease of the telling, then, as well now.

we all have preference in style and themes, and I happen to like this style of your work the most.
But that's just me!
write what you will, it's all good.

regards,

Al

This one was inspired by my wife. The day started when I put my sandwich and frozen bottle of water in my lunch-bag in the morning. I thought about my wife putting some of my favorite chips in my bag and from there it went on. As you know, I am mostly a rhyme guy, but sometimes I am inspired by something that just goes around in my head during the day and this was a day-long theme that was just a jumble of thoughts until I reached home that night. Hence, the title. Thank you for being a long-time fan of this style. I will try to use it more often. ~ Gee

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I wrote a comment here and it disappeared into the blue so here we go again.
Great write of the things around you from memory and from the day to day happenings, these are the best on Neopoet..
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

High praise! I wasn't too sure how this one turned out, as I have not used this style of writing for some time.
I wrote it and hoped for the best. Glad you liked it and will try to do this more often. Thanks Ian. ~ Gee

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piece of writng! Enchanting!

_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

I was hoping that this one would gather some interest. I guess it did! I'm really glad that are some people that like this. My wife, who likes my rhyming poetry, said that she liked this one although she didn't get some of the simile. I had to explain the yellow lifeboats for mom. ~ Gee

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I find it hard to write about life in a city, which I basically hate, so I really admire poems which manage to convey this kind of experience.
Best wishes,
Robert.

so keen about living in the city myself, but I haven't won the lottery yet, so I guess I'll have to stay here and work.
I love the early morning hours, that's when I have most of my inspiration. This poem just started off as being a couple of thoughts at five am. when I started out for work. Glad you enjoyed this. ~ Geezer

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This is beautiful, its a song of joy and words to stand by for all time, amazing write, sometimes a poem doesn't need much to be considered finished but for me this is the whole package...

Just wondering if a conversation we had. Had anything to do inspiration for this lol.

Love and higgliest bugs to you master-poet
Jayne

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

it shows here, huh? Thanks for the master-poet! It's ok, to tell little-white-lies. LOL

Love and higgest bugs ~ Gee

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This kinda reminded me of somebody just getting back a roll of film from being developed then going through them one by one, each one being a quick snapshot of "just" another day. I like it when we old rhymers show that we Can do free verse when the mood strikes and this is Excellent free verse in my opinion. "Get up and go has gone" reminded me of my mother saying her get up and go has got up and went when she was tired lol........stan

to the photographs. I guess that is about as close as one can get to what the process was all about.
As I said to Robert, it started in the early morning as I was off to work. It then progressed as different thoughts through the day. I didn't write any of it down until I got home that night. Then I just went through the day as it played out in my head. I'm glad that you enjoyed this and gave me such high marks for free verse. Yes, that is the saying that I was using. ~ Gee

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I also loved the casual telling as well as all the jumbled sensory images. I was a little disappointed with this line:

Food for the soul and the stomach

It was the "soul" that didn't sit right with me. Everything else was so wonderfully earthy and I wished you'd kept it like that right through the end. Oh well, minor issue in an otherwise excellent poem. Reminded me a little of Richard Scarry's Busytown books.

for the soul was meant to show how good it was to get home. My wife most usually has supper cooked or cooking when I get home and I hug and kiss her; that's my food for the soul! It's not enough to just have something to eat, I have to have my food for the soul. ~ Gee

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