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There Was a Soft Whisper . . .

There was a soft whisper that said, “Where are you?”
To which my heart answered, “Where no one is true.”
“You know another place,” The whisper replied
“Yes, but I’ve been gone so long,” my heart sighed.
The whisper assured, “But you know they won’t mind.”
“I am not so sure,” my heart said, “Won’t they find
My long absence doubtful, and my claim of love false
Due to the silence I have made ‘round myself?”
“You will never know,” the good whisper replied,
“Unless you go in, take the risk, and have tried.”
“I don’t quite deserve them,” my heart still opposed,
“Does that really matter?” the whisper said, “Whose
To say they will think so, or thinking, expel?”
“I just don’t belong there,” My heart said, “And, well,
I cannot be sure I’d be faithful enough.”
“You do belong there,” the whisper said, “And what
Your worries are will be proved naught if you go.”
Still my heart wavered and said, “I don’t know.”
The whisper replied, “You never will see
Unless you pursue the chance of ‘what may be’.”
Will I take the risk? Will I come back home?
If you’re reading this then the whisper has won.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Hey! I'm back and I've missed you all more than I realized. I can hardly wait to begin reading your poems again. :)
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Thank you. I am so glad you enjoyed it.

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment

An enjoyable poem but Why not provide stanzas in order to give folks time to pause and think as they go along?

And, yes, I did think about splitting it up, but when I do verses I want them all to be even and the way this poem panned out didn't really allow for that. I would want to have four-line verses, but there are places where that kind of split would interrupt the flow of thought more than help it.
On top of that I A) - write most of my poetry in verses, but sometimes like to do single stanzas, and B) - believe that because this poem really is one cohesive train of thought, to split it up would actually be to interrupt that flow.
But thank you for that input, I will continue to consider it.

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment

With scribbler because it we need time to pause and process the information

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

But what if I were to attempt that through, instead of stanza-breaks, creative punctuation? Do you think that might work as well? Also, see my answer to scribbler for reasons as to why I don't think stanza breaks would work with this poem.
Thank you for your critique.

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment

I wouldn't say I missed you; except that I can't bring myself to tell that lie. I admit to nothing though. Sooo... Ummm...
Where ya been lady? Hopefully, you are well? I hope that you haven't been punished for admitting to the persuance of poetry sites? I like your way of trying to determine if we were upset with you for not telling us that you would be away for a while.
Nonesense! You don't owe us an apology or explanation for any of your actions; unless you had contracted or accepted responsibilities that you just upended and left without explanation. Now, as to your poem; I will forgive you the mistake of not putting it in quatrains /verses; if you will fix it! Great to see you back and writing. ~ Geez.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

It seems like everyone believes this needs verses. *laughs* OK, so if you're wondering as to my reasons for NOT breaking the poem, see my reply to scribbler, and if you want to see my possible alternate solution, see my reply to E. Nigma.

We do live in America, so you have the right to remain silent if you want. *winks*
I have been on WattPad mostly, and just helping a lot of my young writer friends with their own writing projects. However, the intellectual does grow weary with immature writing and begins to long for the society and atmosphere of experienced writers, especially poets. Aside from a terrible-spelling-and-chillingly-rotten-grammar-deluge-headache, I'm good. Oh, not at all, though I wish more of my friends would listen to me when I suggest this amazing site.
Unfortunately, it is a bad habit of mine to disappear for long periods of time without saying why. *chuckles nervously*

Glad to be back! I have a lot of poems to post, so they'll be coming down the pipe soon . . .

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment
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