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The Taste is Bittersweet

I have been unfaithful,
under a curtain of night
even as you laid
a fingers breath from my hem,

he stole my affection
in shear moments of ecstasy

~~~

We came together
an eclectic mix,
liquid methane and fire,
once we had merged
passion ignited

after the flames died down,
I took out a staff of creation
combining oceans of words
with waves baring
the muniments to love,
in a age of stars
nestled in black petals
and in the prayer rolls of galaxies,
my letters of adoration
shimmer

you can use a finger
and trace the path of my desires
through night

mouths of dark and light
kissed, soft and gentle,
to a fevered fumbling
making poems slide out
between a tongue of your breath
and my lips,
I create my own beginnings,
until the end is whispers

I ask for no Taj Mahal
or crown of Sheba,
what use have I for a thousand ships
hulls busting agape with ardor,

I only yearn to taste the first syllable
that flows from the tip of your tongue
my lust twirls dream-catchers
and yet I crave the rush of methane,

my lust sparks to mark the darkness
with shooting streams of love

~~~

Neruda whispers to me of scents loosed
on the float of lemon flowers,

his rest begun
in a the soft valley
of my heart, and
he knew not how,
or when or from where

but from the other side
he found a way to my heart
timing the tide,
his words now rest under my tongue
and are savored with passion,
I am reduced, again and again

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

You have made a nice cocktail of love..lust and passion and laced it with bitters which has a fizz , fire and an ecstatic aroma in good measures to make a heady reminisce...

I smiled when i read the use of "poem" which is similar though in different strokes I have also used in a poem I am working on for submission in Stan's imagery WS..though it is much shorter than your graphical write...

the only change I would propose is in the title which could just be "Bittersweet"

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

This is about my love affair with the poetry of Pablo Neruda I have made it my goal to try and collect all the translated poetry I can I have also been attempting to learn his native tongue so I can enjoy his words with his voice in my mind, I think sometimes when translating there is something lost but I am lucky to have found an exceptional book of his poetry with both translations... thanks for the read and comment I am very happy you enjoyed this one

love and hugs Jayne x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

this reminds me that you have yet to offer some suggestions for my poem entitled "Betrayal". i still find it hard to put some of the thoughts into words,,,

Alid

I am just back from an absence I will catch up with your betrayal poem tomorrow night, sorry to be so long in getting there life has been harrowing the last week or so

Jayne

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

This has all the thoughts of a person who claims fault that a love has been curtailed.
Both parties are always to blame for these things, now your write is grand and brings much to the mind, I have had my tea shirt for many years now, and it is near worn out, what with many opinions of what others think, this should tell you that there is no blame shit happens yet we try to hold onto a dead thing that will eat us alive if we hold it too tightly.
I at my age find that I have now carried a love for half my life,, this one is of the spirit and holds my soul. So what words do you say young lady, when I say I am happy in my present clothes.
Bt taking all life into consideration there are many things we could have done and life gives us many chances to run free as the deer on mountain sides.
Listen to his heart beat young one it is the same when he runs as it is when rutting.
The world will still sail among the stars no matter what we do, I can find a perfect beauty in the smile of an older person, as I can in the bluebells that will soon festoon the wooded glades not far from here.
Young Jayne this story you write is to be left behind, in its box never to be opened again, out there are so many feelings to bring you joy, they number as the stars, all you need to do is look and feel.
Yours as always Ian . T
PS:- I suppose you will be up and about soon, well make this the first of your future days..10th March 2014

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Big Smile fret not this is about my passion for the poetry of Pablo Neruda I really do love his words and the way he writes he speaks to me from the past and I think if I had ever met him in life I probably would have fell a little in love with his poetry and him lol ... I would have loved to have been able to sit down and discuss poetry and life with him I think it would have been an interesting experience

I am sorry for my absence it couldn't be helped I had a couple of health issues that I had to deal with but I am doing fine now :)

much love always Jayne

p.s. I will be writing you a PM before bed be sure to check it later

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

I agree with you, Ian, this write is grand. she's amazing, isn't she? I wish I have that kind of love that you have. I only have family love for now and I barely have the time to find romance..a talk with mum, though, makes me worried. She's right. I'm not getting any younger.

I agree with you too, Raj. Bittersweet may be a better title. Anyway, I leave it to Jayne to decide what is best for her piece...

Aaah, Jayne. What can I say which hasn't already been said? beauty is as beauty is. to deny that is to utter a poor lie.Congrats.

Love
Alid

This is about my love of the poetry of Pablo Neruda I must have done a good job lol, I really am drawn to his words and over time I have fallen in love with his poems time and time again they never get old for me, So happy you liked this one and I thank you kindly for the wonderful compliment

love Jayne x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment
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