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Into Tartarus

A single step
echoes in the stillness
My feet seer on the Brimstone
Flakes of yellow shattered around it
Eyes locked on a figure in the distance

Waking dreams.
Shadows of thought.
What else lays unseen in the Dark?
Faded ghosts linger between the eye and the mind
Real or illusion?

I draw breath
cold, desolate
A World no more than a memory
Whispers all around me
Time, dead
A moment eternal

A shuddering heart
Who haunts whom?
I peer into a World no longer mine
The Darkness beckons.
I take another step

MML 2015/11/15

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


I like the way the plot is unraveling into the perplexed nature of understanding dreams in relevance to the soul or life in relevance to death

Trying to decode them has very interesting results.

author comment

Excellent word usage with so many unique verses, not sure which one is better than the other...


raj (sublime_ocean)

Fantasy is my thing and this doesn't disappoint. Excellent piece. Good to see you again.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Strangely enough, I am returned from a hiatus of peace and tranquility. It's only when things are tumultuous that the writing comes.

author comment

Dare you dwell in those places, well I think the answer is yes if it produces a write as this one.
I look forward to your next pieces,
Yours, Ian..

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Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Thanks Ian

author comment
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