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Tailored Soles

Life from the line in a country far from here
Together we flew international cross the sea dear
Until we sat in some foreign shop shelf
Patiently waiting to be needed our self

When finally that magic day for us did arrive
First thing we did was go for a refreshing drive
Then a walk to our new home made of brick
And outside to the garden to give a ball a kick

Now over ten lifelong...months have passed
And how tired our soles have become from wear
But together did we ever have a massive blast
So well rot together me and you, oh what pair

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Enjoy
Editing stage: 

Comments

A good write from a soulful view of the world lol.
Fun but true..
Take care out there,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

enjoy the theme and the rhyme, but this is supposed to be a free-form work. Being a rhymer myself, I know how hard it is to think in free-form. It takes a little thinking and work to do a poem in a different style and I have managed it on occasion, so I know that it can be done. Try again! You have a great theme and it would translate well into a free-form poem! ~ Geezer

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I read free verse. Not freeform. Oh well. In all honesty I have no interest in freeform poetry. I have fixed the title and contest status. Thanks for pointing that out

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

author comment

If this is for the August contest then could you put "August Contest" on the title for us, Look forward to the free verse adaption the theme was great, Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

free verse! I think same difference?
~ Geezer

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Yeah looks like it. I like meter and structure though. Ill just call this an experiment on a theme. Oh well.

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

author comment
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