Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
tailored fabric [An Extended Sunku]
sketches
created
on memo pad
measured
cut pieces
sewn together
wonder
if the suit
is aesthetic
i love
adventure
not barriers
my brand
is free spirit
flowing like ink
I count
all stitches
holding pieces
leaving
enough room
to imagine
each suit
I design
reflects my mood
a need
turns to want
then a desire
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
IRiz
Mon, 2018-10-29 16:07
Hm, interesting poem.
Hm, interesting poem.
Yes, I see it relates to the topic.
Well done :)
IRiz
raj
Mon, 2018-10-29 16:25
Thanks for your reading and
Thanks for your reading and positive comment IRiz. Means a lot.
..................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentzebra
Tue, 2018-10-30 16:40
Hi Raj
a need
turns to want
then a desire
……
While I enjoy this piece Their sequence seems like a de-escalation as need remains more urgent than desire. What if it where reversed
a want
turns to desire
then urgency of need
Does this end stronger?
and what is Sanku? Is it Hindi or perhaps Sanskrit?
raj
Wed, 2018-10-31 14:19
Thanks Zebra
for reading and sharing your thoughts...actually need-want-desire are known to be progressive stages of a sales cycle ...or decision making progression...
as to Sunku ...it is an innovation of IRiz as a japanese concise form....3 stanzas...each of three lines in a sequence of 2-3-4 syllables.... i will search and add a link which will make you understand it better...here it is..
https://www.neopoet.com/iriz/blog/mon-2018-02-19-1013
............................................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
author comment