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Tag along with time

Submitted by lovedly on Fri, 2016-12-30 23:28

As we walk over the bridge of time...
Never look back
The bells shall chime

Gone with the wind
back in the tunnel of time
the humans will never ensign
the gone time

So look forward only
and
you will see
the year in full bloom
is now no more

Another one is born
and
you have to carry along

Have the nectar of youth
and
love
the year ahead is knocking
at the thresh-hold of time

I am waiting for you
as I mark time
let me along
with time mime
and
sing a song

''Be Happy
Don’t Worry''

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Wed, 2017-08-09 10:51

weirdelf's picture
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listen to your lovedlyness
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15uSUs5cdKX
only the last line makes me want to slit my own or someone elses throat, as it always has.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

lovedly

Wed, 2017-08-09 11:27

lovedly's picture

you could have slit the last lines
you have the authority
jess -master

author comment

weirdelf

Wed, 2017-08-09 11:38

weirdelf's picture
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only the poet has the authority to change.
Others may merely suggest.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

lovedly

Wed, 2017-08-09 14:52

lovedly's picture

http://vocaroo.com/i/s15uSUs5cdKX

but couldn't hear
coz deaf may be

author comment

Sparrow

Wed, 2017-08-09 19:15

Sparrow's picture
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There is only now that you can be.
It is a fleeting thing you see.
Yesterday is etched in stone
Tomorrow never comes it's known.

Maybe if you could stand still
In the midst of time you will feel
you have stepped into yesterday
Become history, or so they say

What are you saying Loved of mine
I can plan ahead in this your time.
Now come on I know that you jest
Please live in the now as all the rest..

Yours as always in the now we be,
Our loves and hates will set us free.
I asked the children where can I be
They said in every place you will see

Yours Ian.T

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

lovedly

Thu, 2017-08-10 13:51

lovedly's picture

the sparrow sing
oooooo lalalaaa ooooo lalalalaa

author comment
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