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Syria After The Rain

Beyond the dark hour
Spent in the game of love
When the tarot cards of night
Are laid against the day

I lay my ear against
The basin of your belly
Inhale the mystery
Of your sex

The dream of touching
You is more harrowing
Than the clockwork
Kingdom of earth-harnessed bodies

Through my eyes
You are a pearl of rain
That contains the light of God

Am I free in your arms
Is life made more real
With you inside me?

You speak I must be silent
This is your only question
The question you must answer

If I could I would drink you whole
Our bodies would melt
As our words blend into our minds

After our covert love
Has diverted the fatelines
Of our lives

The books you laid
At the alter of my bed
The Axis of Love

The appreciation
For the beauties
Of a world far older
Than their comprehension

And blind before the storm
Of your being
raged into my life
A moments peace

Thoughts of the place of your birth
A city in derision
Damascus after the stones
Have cast

I gazed upon you one final time
I gazed into the fire
When you left my life
With as much love as you entered
Passport in hand

And I, I remained

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
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Comments

Hello, Dalton,
There is such a reverent feeling here, lovely adoration toward both a person and a place. The title and the final line bring about a stillness - somehow peaceful, yet sad.
L

A song with two notes the painting of Europe after the Rain by surrealist painter Max Ernst and my love for the Syrian musician Maya Youssef a romance mixed around different life experiences. At my heart she left my heart and life with as much love as she entered. And I couldn’t help wanting to place the Axis of Love phrase into a poem with the best motive I could as a pacifist. There is a song from her album Syrian Dreams called “Bombs Turn Into Roses” which Maya composed in London after leaving her homeland at the outbreak of the civil war in 2011 from a dream of bombs metamorphosing into rose petals. A beautiful image in itself and peaceful resolutions is what we all pray for in our hearts don’t we?

author comment

I found and studied both the notes you mentioned - both remarkable. I'm wondering if you may have had a reference to Maya Youssef in another poem. I have watched her performance before, but I'm not certain where. Her moving composition and the emotional painting by Max Ernst add to your poem, already deep in a still sadness, but also a strong love.
Thank you,
L

I guess it’s important to write from the heart but I like to exercise my brain also sometimes to my own detriment lol

author comment

Fortunately for us, your poetry overflows with words from both brain and heart.
L

Thanks so much :-)

author comment

Habibi

I cried when I read this piece before and I cried this time , a love poem with such a depth of emotion and sensuality two souls whose worlds have become one in their intimacies , their bodies so close and the yearning for complete communion of body mind and soul ,this couple who feel deeply the change that each brought to the others life when they met strive to be as one .Their love opened their minds to a new world of experience .They existed in The Axis of Love
There is a sadness because a separation is inevitable , their world is being torn apart by the Axis of Evil bombs are raining down on Damascus and the lovers are distraught at facing what the future could hold .Their love had consumed their realities and dreams ,they saw perfection in each other but yet the realities of the cruelty of the world sees wars evil thwart their dreams as he remains and she returns to her war torn country ,This couple could be so many millions , relevant to todays world circumstances as much as in any era as wars split nations, lovers ,families and hearts .
As your talent and sensitive heart and soul can always do , you drew me into a love story delicious in its sensuality and the enviable depth of feeling and yearning portrayed as this couple play out their love and explore the changes it has brought ,and where it could go if the circumstances allowed , your imagery paints a picture of lovers who literally want to become a melded being inseparable ,bodies minds and souls ,one entity such is the intensity of their love , their appreciation of the others body heart and soul is palpable as part of this love poem .I guess as with so many love poems the kernels of the poem is both the love and the pain, the separation and the reason why. The battle of love v evil and the sad picture of one lover saying goodbye as the other leaves for their war torn city and the picture of the other leaving for that place of unknown dangers is heartrending .

A future totally unpredictable , love unchanged by the departure .

Your writing of this is so tender and sensual and your words absorb all my attention as I feel the love in all its realms through your beautiful word choices and classy sensual imagery , its a love you make us want to believe in, we want it to be everything they want ,and we feel it is a possibility until reality strikes and empathy for both parties hits with a blast of sad that these lovers like so many others over forever have been forced apart by wars over greed and jealousies .

The picture of the goodbye is so beautifully poignant ,imagery so vivid its like witnessing as an onlooker , tears rolled for both .

A poem that I can describe as beautifully sad , it has so much in it to touch the reader ,you are amazing , your talent poured through your heart and soul creates such beauty , such emotion as only the most talented can , you truly give us unique experiences that captivate and delight and make us feel connected to your characters or the subject matter cos you write of the things that touch your heart and soul and the way you share with us makes us part of the narrative imagery and message , it gets inside my head but more importantly for me it gets inside my heart and soul

The title I know was inspired by Europe after the Rain by Max Ernst the picture of the man leaving bombed out Europe for the US , rain being the bombs of war .This picture also the inspiration for Maya Yousseff and her piece where the falling bombs turn to Roses as she emigrated to London from her war torn homeland .
Using this as inspiration you have created a beautifully tender poem of love and separation where evil and love are in conflict and of course your total pacifist nature and your belief in the power of love help evoke our sense of loss at wars effect on lovers and humanity .
I have never seen the picture, I must look but you paint a picture of this separation so eloquently I can see the sorrow and desolation in my mind clearly , your words the magical brushstrokes .

Habibi I love it
Thanks for the suggestion to read it
Love Mar xxx

As always you offer the deepest most beautiful reviews to my poems I was a little disturbed that the wording might be a bit respective in my construction of this piece but no one seems to have picked up on that praise God. Touches me that the poem effected you so much as my favourite reader and most precious of all the friends I’ve ever known. I love that you remembered from previous discussions Ernst’s painting reference in the title Europe/Syria and Maya Youssef’s piece of music she composed for her first recorded studio album Syrian Dreams and her piece on her Qanun Bombs Become Roses from a dream she dreamt I believe after leaving her home for London after the outbreak of the civil war around 2011 I think. Of course all true artists are pacifists. It was important to work the image of Axis of Love into a poem I did previously but not to much of a satisfying effect. I feel it works better here. I’m sure you can find an image of Ernst’s painting online or invest a good book on surrealist art you might find one with that included it’s one of the best from the movement. As you say a mythologised allegory of the destruction of Europe after the First World War where Ernst’s avatar Loplop a kind of humanoid creature with the head of an eagle gazing back on a petrified forest with strange figures and harrowing faces half composed in the rock formations and genealogical designs. I’m so pleased this poem has touched the heart of my readers especially yours my most precious dear friend love John :-)

author comment

this poem is beautiful in its timelessness. I can really relate to it. I love the sweetness of the title, enchanting. I wish you would enter the contest for poem of the week. I think that you could win. my favorite lines are:

I gazed upon you one final time
I gazed into the fire
When you left my life
With as much love as you entered
Passport in hand

And I, I remained

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks so much dear Cat I was a little concerned that this one might read a little repetitive but it has those phrases I wanted to introduce into a poem Axis of Love over the media slogan we’ve all heard and read so many times as Axis of Evil and disgusting acts of terrorism. And how she left his life with as much love as she entered it. As you may know from reading shared comments between Emerald and myself the title was a side reference to Max Ernst’s Europe After The Rain and the backdrop of the Syrian Civil War which broke out after anti-government student protests in 2011 thanx for your continuing support from my pacifist heart to yours my poet friend

author comment

Such beautiful visions this poem brings to mind.
Your words have painted a sweet picture, and I wonder...
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I was concerned the poem was a little repetitive in language but no one has remarked that yet thankfully. I feel I’ve said everything I wanted to say in this poem I stayed in London while she returned to a country at war with itself. Of course a work of fiction but from the heart :-)

author comment

Thank you habibi,your words touch my heart ,it is one of the greatest pleasures in my life to read / experience your delightful and enlightening poetry ,I am so delighted that you enjoy my rants so much ,very special to be your favourite reader as you are my favourite poet and most precious friend ever ,have checked out the picture and understand how it inspired .
Mxxx

Always a joy to share my art and heart with you M love J xxx

author comment

Thanks so much I was a little concerned the wording was a little repetitive but as you say don’t change a word that sets my heart at ease so I won’t thanks regards John xxx

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