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Symphony in the Stars

Echoes rebounding
on walls of night mist
floating on sound
not to be missed

A concerto infused
glistened in stars
notes hanging gently
cradled in bars

Mythical muse
transcribing the sheet
floats into them
softly they meet

A Soprano pure heart
keening a sorrow
wrung from the strings
no wish for tomorrow

Merging their souls
vibrating as one
this rhythm has beat
no need for the drum

Majestic wavelets
soothing the soul
wanting for nothing
but a musical scroll

Lodestar to fifths
vitulas pure form
builds to crescendo
bowed in pure storm.

Wreathed in dripped tears
cried from their love
wrung in the music
reigned from above

Stretched out at length
to its final ascend
sound has now found its
refrain to transcend

Euphoria the silence
that levels the night
wings striking softly
in musical flight

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I love it! Your rhyme is excellent, the rhythm too. Yes, music born in the silence of night. This is one of your best; I can see looking out over the fields, watching the fog roll in, hearing the musical notes of night and the distant storm as it rolls toward you. The peace after the storm is palpable; something you can almost reach out and touch. Excellent visuals and I can hear the silence. ~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

I am really happy you liked this one. I will send you a pic of this at night and show you what I was seeing when I wrote this.

Love & higgliest bugs Sis x

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

you always knock me out with your poetry...the worlds you create are amazing! I would love to live there. this poem is pure enchantment!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Awww thank you I am really chuffed you like it...do you still have the same email. I can show you my enchanted view as well.

Love & biggest hugs J x

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

would love to see it! thank you!

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I will message you before I go to bed.

Love J xxx

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

the sunrise is exquisite and the puppy is adorable! having trouble responding to my e-mail. Steve will get it cleared up tomorrow.

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I found some of the other pictures I wanted to send you I will send them tonight from the computer. I want to touch base and catch up properly. Reply when you can there is no hurry. It maybe a long email Lol,

Moony has been such a comfort he was a gift on the one month anniversary of Dads passing from an old friend, she knew I was struggling I had to put my dog down the day before Christmas in 2021 so he's brought me comfort and companionship. He's such a cheeky little bugger!!

The sunrise was nothing to the sunset I'm going to send you. It's magic. It looks like someone sprinkled sparks of light through the clouds. I've actually started a poem after I looked at it again when I found it.

Love always & hugs J xxx

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

I would love to see anything you want to share with me. we lost 4 of our cats this past year, one after another all of them my cuddle buddies. Lucy and Benny hurt the most... we adopted Mia, a Russian Blue and she prefers Steve to me. so I am lost and dragging. picture of your puppy cheered me :) thanks!

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank you so much I am so happy and humble you liked it

Kind regards Jayne x

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

You are too good Seren
I won't ever be able to write like you ever
If even I return
from heaven

I wish lol hugs I am very glad you liked it

Love always J x

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

you
Seren know

Hugs xxx

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

A bar of four measures each with 3 beats. Decent title. Isn’t “lodestar” a fantastic word?!

Lodestar to fifths
vitulas pure form
builds to crescendo
bowed in pure storm.

Learned a few things there; thank you. You might say I had a “viola” moment with the vitulas and their bows. Lol

Awesome.
Tim

This might be a candidate for song lyrics

I'm really chuffed you like it. I had to work on it to get that beat just right. I love that word. Always wanted to find the right poem for it. Seems like I found it. Once upon a time I sang and taught singing. I am still learning always finding new words and old dictionaries etc.

BTW I listened to your music left a comment for you I don't know if you saw it!

Giggling at your viola moment!

You know I never even gave it a thought for song lyrics but you're spot on!

Kind regards J x

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

I just popped in to see your comment. Sapphire is Geezer’s girl I just set the words to music. Honestly I’m not the best player or singer but I’m confident enough. That’s a departure for me. I like drums and bass, and two guitars and two keyboards so I can hide in the mix. Lol. I really, really appreciate you having a listen.

Tim

My goodness I didn't know that was Gee's words!!! I play the piano proficiently enough to compose but I am crap at it. I'm better af the lyrics side of things. I've been privileged to have my work put to someone else's music. No greater compliment than that.

I was a trained singer way before I ever considered posting my poetry. Neopoet was the first site I ever joined way back in 2007.

I will revisit your work I enjoyed your music. It made me smile when you said it was Gee's baby. I went to sleep listening to that song that night it was my pleasure.

Love Jayne

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

Double post.

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

I drop in and here you are with a poem which RHYMES! lol It is often more difficult to write a poem which uses this pattern than an AABB or ABAB pattern and you pulled it off. Good to see you

Long time no see! How are you? Coming from a Master of rhyme I will take that compliment. And I am back to stay won't post everyday.. Quality above Quantity...unless inspiration knockes me over.

Hope y'all are well.

Much love xxx

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

I am doing OK for an old fart lol. My posting rate has plummeted. Seems I have run out of things to write about. Writer's block? I look forward to seeing you around.

I swear you haven't run out of words. I thought I had for a while. But now I have years of work unpublished to source, writing I did when I was not here.

We are getting old my friend. I'm glad you're doing OK.

Big hugs and love Sis

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

I am at least as young as bedrock and dirt lol.

No other way to describe it. The flow and use of language was elegant and went well together. I am fascinated how most of us on here draw from the stars and seeing all of our individual perceptions. Well done!

~RoseBlack~

I'm an Astrophile. I write a lot of poems about starry nights have written many in the past. Thank you so much for your kind comment I'm really happy you like it

Kind regards J x

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

A well deserved win Jayne.
This poem is certainly a pleasance penned by genius.
Love it,
Mark

.
.
I am a caveman
Drawing bovine on a wall
With a burned spear tip
(for Jess)

I was thoroughly shocked to find I'd won to be frank. I only entered because of something Gee said.

Thank you I am so happy you liked it

Kind regards Jayne

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

Congratulations! poem of the week!

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks sweet Cat

Hugs and love always J xxx

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

Nice job on the winning submission. I love star poems. We are after all, star stuff.

Congratulations
Tim

I don't know if you've seen it but there is a photo taken by the James Web telescope. It's been given so many names but one is the eye of God. They compared it to the Iris of the human eye and it looks like a huge eye looking out across the universe. I'm obsessed with the night sky. I don't know what it is but I've been that way for as long as I can remember. Astrophile to the bone.

Thanks so much.

Love Jayne

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

It's like a swift naughty spark
to cloud 9
and afterwards, pleasingly floating
back with bliss
followed by a tinkle down the spine.

love how it encapsulates one's mind while reading. also has this nerds can find romance (or have a kinky side) feel to it.
read it about 3 times. and still got tinkles*.

as the title puts it. it is beautifully just that.

I love how a poem can bring something different to each reader. Someone said to me it was like I was writing a mantra or spell. Maybe it is. Tinkles? I'll take that thank you so much for your kind comment.

Kind regards Jayne

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

well deserved

Thank you Lovely

Love J xxx

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

Lovely. Alex

First off nice to meet you! Secondly thank you I am humbled I didn't expect it in the least.

Kind regards Jayne-Chloe

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

WOW! I am just blown away by this. The written musical overtones that ripple throughout nature, make for one incredible read. It felt like a movie, if that makes any sense.

I mean everything you wrote about I could see, hear and feel. This was just one amazing piece of work that left me sitting in the middle of a universe of yer design, that I felt in every part of me.

I just loved it...
in case you can't tell...lol.

Beautiful.

Thanks for sharing.

Just yes.

He got it! He got it I'm over the moon. Hugs x

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

Thanks for such amazing feedback. As a musician/singer/writer I could think of no greater praise. Wow I'm so chuffed everyone likes it. Thank you for your very kind words they mean a lot.

Nice to meet you!

Kind regards Jayne-Chloe

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

author comment

You are most certainly welcome my friend. I'm very pleased that you enjoyed what I had to say.

Be blessed.

A delight to read and recite aloud.Alex

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