Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Symphony Called Maturity

Does a tree look back
At its younger years
With sapling self-

Wondering why it took
So many storms,
A filling out around the gut,
A losing of
The leaves,
Again and again

(Like a 40 year old
With pattern

Another season
Closer to death,
Another season
Closer to death,

Before realizing the real
Gift of sunlight
And rain,
Animal and arbor?

Does it fear,
Like us,

It has discovered too late
That it has been in
just the right place
All along,

Its unique placement
In the forest glades of the world,

The perfect shade
And light,
Curvature of the face
And shoulder
And spine?

Like trees, maybe we need
More rings
On the record
Player of our souls,

A symphony we could call

Before we accept
That we are
And are becoming
Exactly who
We’re meant to be:

A swaying bridge
From ground to sky,

A life grounded
And growing
And green,

A home for birdsong
And monkey dance,

A love, planted
In the grace of
A higher design —

Breathing in
What the world gives,

And then breathing out
What the world needs.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


I like this piece of naturality it so cool I think I learn a lot from it, though this is a question about the first stanza.
Does a tree look back
At it's younger years
With sapling self-
does it suppose to be a (?) at the end of the stanza? I think it be to make it even better.

I will rather learn how to fish than beg for one.

dear gegwah

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.