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Sweet Pea

There's nothing so pleasing
as sitting and easing
'neath a hazel weaved bower
covered in tendrils of sweet pea stems
that blossom with clusters of winged flower gems.

Relaxing and easing
just sitting and seizing
that touch of heavenly bliss
gorged with magenta or cyan blue
flecked with a carmine or ivory striped hue

It's nice to be seizing
that fragrant smell, teasing
my nosey perfume senses
with multi toned aroma filled shades
from rosy pastels, to violets and jades.

With all that scent teasing
it is rather pleasing
to relax in no hurry
for no charming can truly beguile
or surpass the magic of that sweet pea smile.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This poem was inspired by my visit to "The National Botanical Garden Of Wales". They have seating areas - within the doubled walled garden to help rest the feet of weary walkers - one of which is four seats shaded by hazel bowers covered in sweet peas! it is the most sort after seating area!
Editing stage: 

Comments

You've always offer us the good stuff.

There's a botanical garden here too,
with a variety of flowers to see
I visited it twice in my youth
but these days I'm just too busy
tending to endless chores
at work and at home
until my body is too sore
and i dropped like a stone.
still i remember those old memories
when life is simpler with lesser duties

Alid

I bet the bontanical gardens of Wales pales into insignificance compared to yours! I am able to visit our botanical gardens now and again to find peace and refreshment. ( I am soo fortunate that I can ). If you where here I'd take you there!

I hope your circumstances change - you are not well yourself! Of course it's difficult for you to take any rest because you have so many responsibilities. :( I'm coming up for 60 - life is still hectic and my parents are well into their 80's - still in relative good health - but there will come a time when I will be more active in helping them to cope with life. ( we live approx 350 mile apart from each other ). It will be a privilege - but I'm not looking forward to the emotional trauma.

Glad you like this one Alid! Nice of you to read and make a comment, which was very encouraging and very much appreciated.

Keep safe :)

Love Mand xxxxx

author comment

dear mand. You're very welcome.

Alid

I guessed I'm pampered, living in a small country. Travelling within the country usually takes minutes or at 1 hr so I can't imagine having to travel for miles! I doubt I'll survive long in the bigger countries.lol.

Alid

I've just googled singapore - am I right in saying it is approx 14 square miles? Not much bigger than the Isle of Wight ( off of the south coast of England ). Tiny tiny! We need to have a car to travel any distance ( due to cut backs there are no buses in service on a Sunday and only two a day to the the big towns mid week - one going and one coming back ). From where we live the nearest hospital is ten miles away. ( you could die before you get to hospital ughhh ). There is something to be said for living on a small island. He he

Hope you are feeling refreshed today!

Love Mand xxx

author comment

I am feeling a little better. Yesterday is worse. Yes, my country is about 14 square miles. Our buses travel everyday even on public holidays, if I'm not mistaken 5.30am till around midnight, depending on what bus number you are taking. There are Nightrider bus as well on the weekends except for public hollidays. We have the MRT and LRT trains as other means for budget transport.

Alid

I'm glad you're feeling al little better today - the last thing you need is to feel bad.

I think I'll come and live in Singapore! the transport system sounds way more efficient - what a great idea to have budget transport! Living in the country costs alot of money - we have to have a car to get about, but that is becoming hard to afford now! Yesh

author comment

That still depends on the fares and the bills. They keep on increasing them while the salary didn't really increase much, so we still feel the pinch here. Besides, I'm not sure if they have subsidies for the foreigners who choose to settle down here in terms of medical services and others. It can still be an expensive way to live, you know, especially with the bills and taxes. I dunno. Maybe you should do some research first before thinking of moving.

Alid

Much as I'd like to - we couldn't afford it anyway - we are just managing to keep our heads above water!

author comment

A lovely write, yes the Sweet Pea, with its bouquet and its lasting vision.
I have here the everlasting variety though the colour is a pale purple bordering on a bright pink it still has that effect.
A good write as usual, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

One of my favourite flowers - the white ones are pungent! Sweetpeas have got it all the looks, smell and colour - umm pale purple bordering on pink, sounds so lovely! Few flowers match up to it!

Thanks for your visit and comment Ian! always good to see your smile!

Love Mand xxxxx

author comment

Your poem tickled my olfactory nerve. Need I say more?

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

You are so knowledgeable Raj - no wonder you write such great poetry! He he

Thanks Raj - nice to know this one had some sort of effect. Lol

Keep safe :)

Love to you and yours

Mand xxxx

author comment

You might try working on your rhythm a bit to make the poem flow a little better, but that's just me! Your imagery is good and the way you weave the aroma of the plant in with how it makes you feel. All in all, a pretty good write!

Seems I spelt the word seizing wrong - I put ceasing! I hope it sounds better now! xxx

Wouldn't have noticed unless you'd said!

Love Mand xxx

author comment

That's an interesting observation - I thought it did! ( flow I mean ). Lol Which stanza / stanza's are you referring to? ( I would appreciate your opinion because it, along with others on this site, is highly valued ).

Nice of you to read and make an honest appraisal!
Love Mand xxxx

author comment

I could almost smell the blooms through the screen. Might have over used "pleasing a bit but I liked the rhyme pattern in which the middle line of each stanza didn't rhyme. I sat once with Susan under a large bower covered with honey suckle in the summer breeze. I expect your experience was similar.....stan

Yes! I think your experience beneath a bower covered in honeysuckle must have been very similar - honeysuckle smells even better in the evening, just before sundown - beautiful! Seems this poem needs a bit of tweaking - I'll give it some thought, though I'm visiting my parents as of next week and won't be back for a couple of weeks, so I'll have to do it after that. ( unless I manage to find time when I'm down there ).

Thanks for your feed back - it is muchly appreciated and a big thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

Keep safe

Love Mand xxxx

author comment

Just checking out on your edits. Its been quite sometime since I've heard from you. So how's life? I must say this piece is still very captivating for me.
Well here are some updates on my recent postings. "Think of Me, Remember Me" is inspired by one of loved's poems. I talk a little about my condition here. "Monster" is a poem about facing our inner demons ," No Second Chance" is inspired from a friend's experience, "Breaking Free" is my triumph over my past, Rage is the voice of a drunk driver's victim and "Sleepless In Singapore" is describing my insomnia probem that has been a problem for quite awhile. Tell me your views when you can. No need to rush.
I'm facing some problems with the website and have posted it in the forum Still, i won't stop writing because of it.

Love is the blooming flower in my heart
hope is its wonderful aroma
loyalty is a fortress, never falling apart
courage is the soul's beloved star

my prayers are the songs of heaven
i sing them for my family and friends
my well wishes, may they lighten your burdens
when your path in life darkens

Think not that you are alone, my dear
for i am there in your heart, always near
wherever you are, youre never alone
'cos you'll always have a friend here

Alid

Thank you for your comment - much appreciated. I will look in on your poems a.s.a.p I enjoyed "monster" and have commented on it - will try and read more as time permits. Thanks again.

Keep safe

Love Mand xxx

author comment
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