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Suspense
A bow
held over
violin strings
Fingers
pause before
striking a score
Waiting
for the cue
from Destiny
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
IRiz
Tue, 2018-02-20 10:14
Hi Raj,
Hi Raj,
I absolutely love this new poem.
the frozen in time moment before the sound is born, before the word said, act perform and on and on and on
Alliteration of vowels is simply perfect!
thank you for yet another great example of the style
IRiz
raj
Sun, 2018-02-18 14:39
Hi IRiz,
Hi IRiz,
Thanks for the read and explicit comment/critique on the poem. Destiny decides the score the violin plays isn't it?. Thant was between the lines of the unspoken intent i was working on
It's heart warming to receive a positive comment from a friend and Sunku WS leader and to know that I am improving and may be contributing my two pence to your endeavor w.r.t. getting Sunku to be accepted as a novel form of poetry.
No thanks please. This is work in progress in the context of the Workshop of which I am a part
Hugs and regards...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentweirdelf
Wed, 2018-02-21 07:53
you didn't post this to the workshop
you didn't post this to the workshop. Are you sure you didn't post to the Stream within 24 hours?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
raj
Wed, 2018-02-21 10:27
Hi ....I have not been
Hi ....I have not been posting this to Sunku Workshop for a while now, waiting for some technical issues which do not permit me to post multiple poems. The issue has been referred to the technical team and I am confident they will resolve the matter in due course of time. Until then I shall continue to post in the open stream. Please rest assured that I am reading all poems posted to Sunku Workshop which is a great learning experience.
I am grateful to you and IRiz for leading this workshop and to others who are contributing their jewels...
Regards..
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentweirdelf
Wed, 2018-02-21 11:57
Why are you making such an issue of this?
I explained how to work around the glitch.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
raj
Wed, 2018-02-21 12:55
Not me making any issue. I
Not me making any issue. I just responded to your question. Nothing more than that.
Regards...
raj (sublime_ocean)
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