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Sunbeams

Submitted by brittle light on Sat, 2016-05-14 13:14

sunbeams
flowering afresh
amid barefoot giggles
a sleepy morning stretch

hold on, wait a minute
this doesn't sound right.
I'm a crusty old curmudgeon,
what the hell happened last night?

did my brain shift on its axis, or something?
was I slipped some kinda slap-happy mickey?
still gleamy eyed, I did a little soft shoe,
glanced at the mirror, and then BAM!, it hit me.

"free, white, and twenty one,
schools out forever,
an official retiree.
mail box money,
healthy,
single,
virile"

me

and
my life
shall be
from this day on
sun freakin' beams
flowering fresh off the press
amid barefootin' giggles...and, you know the rest.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
"free, white, and twenty one"; though now considered politically, and ethically incorrect, it can still invoke a powerful feeling of unmitigated privilege and freedom.(especially to an old crusty curmudgeon) If you don't like it, just drop it into the pile of everything else you don't like, do your virtuous cursing, and move on.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

Rula

Sun, 2016-05-15 00:34

Rula's picture
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this is awesome. Very much like the ebb and the flow of the life.
cleverly crafted.
congratulations!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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brittle light

Sun, 2016-05-15 12:20

brittle light's picture

and I thank you once again for your supportive remarks

Al

author comment

Roscoe Lane

Sun, 2016-05-15 01:13

Roscoe Lane's picture

Love this, from one old curmudgeon to another keep them coming. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

brittle light

Sun, 2016-05-15 12:31

brittle light's picture

I suppose one can age like a fine wine ..or, in my case, like a stinky cheese.
but I've never been happier, a curmudgeon's life suits me fine.

glad you found this to your liking

Al

author comment

judyanne

Mon, 2016-05-16 00:17

judyanne's picture
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Really like this .... wonderful to not have to work if one has had enough of it
lol 'mailbox money' - love it .... every reason to dance barefoot

Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

brittle light

Wed, 2016-05-18 11:30

brittle light's picture

I love "mailbox money" too... not so much for its poetic value...but for my glowing joy of cold hard cash!

and it's wonderful ,not because I've had enough of the grind; I never liked working to begin with...ever!

such was the life and times of a less than successful, self proclaimed artiste.

how it ended up so satisfying to me in my closing act is quite a mystery to me, and all who know me.

thanks for your interest in my works

Judy,
I just re-read this. I didn't mean for it to sound so cold, and aloof.

Al

author comment

Esker

Tue, 2016-05-17 19:50

Esker's picture

hitting hard like tools of brass
no sparks as steel
safety for the grass
to vend outside
in vitral light
giving purity
to madness delight

Sunbeams...I think my hippie
sister drove one
mid seventies
(now they travel on motorcycles
to the midwest..)

kindred in youth and old
some
the free er spirits
freed
the smiling stray with muzzled
grey

traveller...
forever in the travel!

great poem!

thank U!

brittle light

Wed, 2016-05-18 12:00

brittle light's picture

I hope you know the admiration I have for your powerful gift of poetry, and even your gab.

so different we are from each other...Yet...well beyond just the poetry, a mutual respect for the strive, and authenticity, and individuality.

I'm honored to know you through this medium.

thank you

Al

author comment

Esker

Wed, 2016-05-18 14:42

Esker's picture

many dont even know they have one...
or give it away...
conforming into the great comfort of
the voiceless motley crew!

I tend to like rebels
always
they find me
here in real time
and they kick ass
are multi talented
I keep saying Im
not but then
what am I doing
hanging with em
must have my own

thank U

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