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AS THE SUN RISES

Alone on this December day
in the woods where I belong
as dawn breaks in a frosted way
listening to some silent song.

Forest stirs slowly into life;
thrushes rustling in the duff.
Before long all birds run rife.
Jays call out both loud and gruff.

A pair of squirrels in the tree tops
chase each other seeking love
in that ancient dance that never stops.
Sun hits the canopy above.

A pair of deer suddenly appear,
a fair sized buck and flirty doe.
I see them but I'm not really here.
I'm where ever old daydreamers go.

My mind has gone into the past
with all the loved ones who have left;
the price of aging hits home at last.
Too many have left me here bereft.

Too soon I've become an old man,
what little hair I have is white.
I can't recall when I last ran.
A honking flight of geese comes into sight.

Thing I could once easily do,
people I knew, too many gone.
truths which I swear I once-ler's knew.
Like trees leaves they all are gone.

Then sun's warmth lands on my face
along with thought of my life's love.
I realize I've yet to run this race.
For her I go on push come to shove.

And I smile for the first time today,
refocus on life that's all around.
Not everything is dark and grey
as long as I'm above the ground
and love is not too far away.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

As always you have given me a run for my money lol I cannot find one singular flaw in this writing outsatnding as usual

Bright Side Chat
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Always good to see you have dropped by. I am pleased you think so highly of this little scribble

author comment

Beautiful meanderings put to words by an avid scholar of poetry. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

"scholar of poetry"......we both know better than that but thanks for the kind words

author comment

I love the rhyms in the second stanza it's nice but why don't you try something like this.

"Forest stirs slowly in to life
Before long all birds run rife
Thrushes rustling in the Duff
Jay call out both loud and gruff"
Just a suggestion.

I rather learn how to fish than ask for one.

I appreciate your visit and suggestion but it would mess up the abab rhyme pattern. Thanks for visiting

author comment

I always appreciate such a visit as I've never been to a real forest, so your words let me see everything as if I were there.
I know you will come back to this and check where you need to capitalize letters after a full stop or so.

The lines
I see them but I'm not really here.
I'm where ever old daydreamers go.

Might flow better (IMO) with some tweek. May be sth like

I see them [yet] I'm not really here,
but where ever old daydreamers go.

Just a suggestion you know.
Great read as always!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Always good to see you have come by. And you are correct that some tweaking will be done and when done I'll keep your suggestions in mind

author comment
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