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Summer of Ten... [August Contest]

Sweet iced tea
Served on the window ledge
The close warm air
Second floor breeze

My sisters asleep
The front window open
Me and mom hanging out
Looking at the stars
Of Main Street

Puerto-Rican chrome
White leather seats
"Hey baaaaby!"
"Ooooh, Mamacita!"

"Old Sailor" waltzing
The Drunkard's Strut
Bouncing off the drugstore window
Mom called the cops

He fought his demons
Shanghaied
He'll come to in the brig
Sorry he ever left the sea

The bats chasing bugs
In the street-light
Mohawk Movie neon
Red and green
Blinks out

Close the window on the screen
Silently down the hall
Twenty-five watt bulb
Barely hits the high ceiling

Click...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I deleted a couple of lines that weren't absolutely necessary to the poem, in hopes of making 24 or less, but didn't quite make it.
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

Hi Geezer,
Thank you for sharing this fantastic poem.
It felt like travel into a different world and there is only one way to get there, it is through your poem.
I am absolutely enchanted.

I want to read more of it not less, don't try to shorten it.

IRiz

deleted one line, actually. After the "Ooooh, Mamacita" was: "Put your eyes back in your sockets boys", but it was divided. Thanks for your comment and wish for more. ~ Geezer.
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This poem gave me the feeling of a warm summer night. The imagery was great and I felt like I was right there at that window with you. I also loved the ending perfect! I enjoyed reading it very much. Thanks for a great poem.

This is one of the poems that I showed my mother and she recognized it right away! I have given her some to read that she says she didn't understand, but this one was as fresh in her memory as it is in mine. She's ninety-three now, and lives in a nursing-home, but she's still sharp; [unless it is about when I went to see her last]. If it is more than a week, she says: "I never see you!" LoL This is one of my fondest memories of my mom. It was a time when I was allowed to stay up with her, after my sisters were in bed and I had her all to myself. ~ Geezer.
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I wish you had read my poem
MOM'S SMILES
MAY even now
Moms are life's breath
while living
and
a living memory then
God bless

So glad you have this memory to share with your mother. I have some fond memories of my mother too. She has been gone about 20 years now. She had Alzheimer's and my sister and I took care of her. I wrote a short story about her but I lost it somewhere. Anyway I'm glad your Mom is still sharp.
Cherish every moment with her. I felt this a bit nostalgic. Thank you for reminding me of her.

B9Pat

Is it not a blast to see what we did so long ago and how and what we write these days in our craft?
It looks to me like we have a lot of nostalgia going on and that is always a good and very interesting thing. I see you are out of edit mode. I kept my original and built on it but I see this has special meaning :~)
Nice imagery I could see it all and in few words ...kudos.
Good luck in the competition,

~Mark~

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Yes, it is a blast to see the things that we did long ago. I was ten through 13 when these things happened. They happened nightly during good weather and my mother and I spent quite a number of hours watching the "Stars of Main St.". There was always something going on. It was one of the greatest spots in town to watch the parades and the spectators too! But my favorite nights were Friday and Saturday. Those were the nights that most people went to the Mohawk Theater or Barry's Bar, both across the street from us. I did some editing when I re-posted, but I think it is pretty much the way I want to leave it now. ~ Gee.
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