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A SUMMER NIGHT'S TAIL

The slight hint of summer's perfume
floats on the air this still dark night.
Perhaps magnolias are in bloom
across the pond near out of sight.

I inhale a deep breath of the south
along with an unseen gnat or bug
which flew right in my open mouth
as if I was an earthbound bat !

When my fit of snorts and choking's done
the bug gets washed down with iced tea.
Susan's laughing having fun
but humor somehow eludes me.

So I sit back down in the deck chair
and try regaining some dignity
turning my attention back "out there"
and smile, hoping Susan doesn't see.

And there! I see a "super moon"
so close it seems almost next door.
I hope Bob will put his pants on soon.
Male nudity is such a bore

I wonder if I have bug breath
and should I share it with my wife?
Poor bug endured an awful death.
What a way to end a life.

Next I spy a dark shape in the yard
about the size of a house cat
then squint my eyes and look real hard.
The shape's tail seems kind of fat.

Then the "cat" steps into some moonlight
just as unseen dog makes his attack
and on the shape, suddenly bright
white stripes appear on the skunk's back.

Skunk tail rises and the dog leaves
but not before he tastes the fog
which skunk released on the slight breeze.
I'm glad that I don't own that dog.

But though we neither were at fault
my love and I try not to breathe
and from our chairs we quickly vault
deciding that it's time to leave.

So in the house and slam the door!
Both of us look a bit unwell
the evening's turned from good to poor
This summer's night has gone to hell.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I promise I had no idea this poem would end this way lol..
Editing stage: 

Comments

its pleasant and slow paced
always working with the female
partner..the wife in this poem

the protagonist
is the reader who can either
be for the bugs or nature
perspectives.

i like how its structured
freeform is very hard to do
if not impossible to get
right

enjoying these works
and never being able to
really work rime myself
or spelling
i appreciate the correctness
of this work

i greatly liked humor early
on in my readings
it was an escape
from the chaos and madness
about at the time

summer turns to fall and winter
there is great joy in what God
has provided for interest
and enjoyment and
humor..

thank you!

This started out as a typical poem where I was going to tie the story in with the reader using metaphors. Then after the first stanza my pen the pen went its own way and decided to drift off into humor. I'm glad you liked it and thanks for dropping by.......stan

author comment

read Stan. I believe humor is your comfort zone.

PS.I feel like there some "buts" are close, so thought you might like to replace especially in stanzas 2 and 3 from down.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Sometimes my brow knits in concentration as I begin a serious poem about some state of mankind.........then for some reason things swing another way lol. I'll check out my buts which will be better than having to have my butt checked.........stan

author comment

This is a great write, and went down near as well as a bug.
I think though that you hold back on your poetry and underscore your feelings a little, maybe I would love to hear you shout, but not at me but in verse.
This one is very good as I said and can stand on its own legs, I just am hungry for more expressive stuff I see in between the lines..
Take care and my thoughts go out to you both, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I'm not one who shouts in life so I guess my scribbles reflect that. But My next poem I'll see what I can do in letting the monster out. Just take care it doesn't bite you lol............stan

author comment
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