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There is a point in life
when too many projections from others
make you stumble and defeated
you face a lack of substance.
Between a superhero and a housewife,
between the evil and the kind,
all fake images, cause you are neither,
your true self lies.
Taking long deep breaths
away from the crowds and opinions
tenderly holding like a newborn your substance.
And that's all a man can ever have.
Not power, not money, not even your sweetheart's love.
Don't ever let them steal what you're made of.
For, it's the shallow who envie
with eyes like blades
and cut you down.
To live a life you need a substance,
or else you end up an empty pot
trying to suck out the life of others.

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


I encourage you to break this into stanzas which would deliver your intent in doses instead of all at once

with Scribbler, it's like trying to absorb the information from too many voices all at once. Breaking this into stanzas will slow it down and make it more intelligible. I am curious as to the comparison of the superhero and the housewife? Are you a stay-at-home dad and homemaker? I'm thinking that this piece is trying to say that you must be your own person and not allow others to place you in life. Do your own thing, so to speak. Once you get this into some semblance of order, it will be much better! ~ Geezer.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I get the piece. Nice.

"when too many projections from others
make you stumble and defeated
you face a lack of substance."

All that is usually meant to be added to yourself, not replacing the one self.

Just my IMHO...

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try to measure themselves by the opinions of others, so yes, it is natural to cut others down to make themselves feel more substantial. This is a subject that should be more common, but since many people are selfish and cruel, that point is moot.

Your piece is relevant and deserves more attention to detail. Find yourself a seat here, Mara


. like my lost dreams...the flood

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