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A Study in Pink: section ten

Mackwill paces rapidly about his cold boudoir.
He’s found a thing tucked deep inside his oak and steel armoire.
How it got there he can’t guess spite knowing what it is.
Now he has a problem more pronounced than just his biz.

‘Her thoughts race absorbing facts found near the crime scene.’

“Guy, I want the girl, the barmaid seen, you know of whom I speak.
She saw a thing I want to know and know before she leaks
the secrets to the press and all, but here’s the other pain:
the trail of blood in the hotel come in from out the rain”

“Where did it lead?” Guy queries her. “Where did the blood trail lead?”
“It dried away inside the joint, just past ‘The Grill and Mead’.”
“Then we must search the Hotel grounds ‘til find the blood again.
The carpets will be wet you see. The steps in from the rain”.

And Mackwill stares upon the thing not knowing how it came.
He can’t recall a single thing from last night’s gory maim.
Now what do? How can he tell his all too fearful wife.
He hides his eyes and looks not on the bloodied murder knife.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
The extra line is a quote from elsewhere in the piece. Everyone is welcome to quote other sections to make a point. "Official Pronouncement". lol
Editing stage: 

Comments

it is your turn again. Surprise. I will be moving sections into the Main Thread as soon as 1). Stan is satisfied with his submission and 2). Loved posts her submission (number nine) as a poem, so I can get to it. We need to critique number nine also.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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author comment

Know I'm seldom satisfied with my stuff but I've done an edit and It's good enough to move on.

Now to yours lol
You had m e suspecting a head was found not a knife lol. Good twist at the end.......stan

I like the false trail, that seems to lead to the murderer. I also like the idea of being able to quote a line of the last work, just to keep the thread alive! Nice! Oh, sorry about the motorcycle, I didn't remember that it was 1888! I was thinking more of like, 1910 for some reason. Sorry, maybe I should change it to a bicycle? ~ Gee

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to the motorcycle to leave it.
It may not be a false trail. What if Mog possessed him or maybe he's being framed. That's up to everyone.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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author comment

At least that's what this piece is telling me. The murder weapon on my character??? Oh no, the plot is really going to give me one headache.

Alid

You have called me out...it is 140 am here so I will post mine tomorrow.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

This is definitely getting more intense and interesting.....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

You've pushed the story to an exciting point. It is something 'I' need to learn
Thank you.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Its a good one.

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Neopoet Community

17 lines and not 8 perverse
and you must keep section 9 in mind
else you sayings may become perverse
Snow judge ...Sir!

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