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Strange Mobility

Submitted by Kailashana2 on Mon, 2012-05-21 12:03

My eyes follow
a candy wrapper tumbling
up the street
right down the middle
of the double yellow center line.
I think I hear the street laughing along the
sidewalk, the red clover leaning into the sun
with green elbows, listening intently.

Blue bags stretch across their length and width
against the wind like kites without
strings, without ends; they grab pieces
of the sky but the sky does not lament.
The sonnet of day begins to ebb. Against all odds, you and I
are here in this strange universe of light and shadow. Of dark
matter and even darker poetry staining pristine memories
of how it all begins.

We are code-talkers, translating distant dialogues
speaking strange petals of murmurings into the daylight,

With each story we fade a little more into the background.
Stars gather into dust, leaving their light behind.

Perfect equations of unknown zeros mark our way.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Kailashana2

Mon, 2012-05-21 12:10

Most of the time my poetry begins with a mundane observation and solidifies recent events of my life. I compact it into each and every poem.

Let me share (other than the first paragraph that is easy enough to follow) the rest of it, a Ted Talk Barry and I watched last night. (There's more to the story, but I'll leave that for another day.)

Most of you may know that I am a student of physics, metaphysics to be precise. I find no more ambiguities, no more arguments to be made for or against something or another. Why? Because it's all based on our ideas which we have pilfered throughout the ages.

Why should I argue with your thinking? It's only my thoughts that do, if they do. :lol:

Enjoy. Brian Greene: Why is our universe fine-tuned for life?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf7BXwVeyWw

author comment

Bryan

Mon, 2012-05-21 18:21

Bryan's picture

I did get whiplash. You had me wandering down the center line (I even saw the black line that separates the yellows) on a 4 lane blacktop.

then ..... S U D D E N L Y...I'm in a meadow with clover.

I love haiku and this surprise is a common haiku technique -here it was a bit abrupt for me.

You certainly did a great job with your imagery.

Nordic cloud

Tue, 2012-05-22 15:57

Nordic cloud's picture

"Perfect equations of unknown zeros mark our way."
All through this one are the zeros, I liked this last line particularly.

I sometimes even sense Cleveland in your poems Anna,

Ann

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

weirdelf

Thu, 2012-05-31 02:26

weirdelf's picture
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but Lonnie you've blocked messages from me (and given our history I don't blame you in the least) so I have to say this here.

It's fucking great to see you offering suggestions but may I humbly suggest that you don't need to be so humble. Anna is strong willed and strong visioned and would never do anything rash on anyone's account. Well, not to her poetry anyway [grins]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

mantiscepter

Tue, 2012-05-22 17:52

Love the title takes you to the strange and over to the far side's
of one's imagination so for me it was a joy to read,I like reaching for the poem and the poet.
insight of the written word is a morsel to be devoured a reflexive talent on both sides

Great job. John. Mantiscepter

judyanne

Wed, 2012-05-23 08:23

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'I think I hear the street laughing along the
sidewalk, the red clover leaning into the sun
with green elbows, listening intently'

and
'The sonnet of day begins to ebb. Against all odds, you and I
are here in this strange universe of light and shadow. Of dark
matter and even darker poetry staining pristine memories'

what can i say?
awesome
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

weirdelf

Thu, 2012-05-31 02:54

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But you come along, open the box, and not only is there a live cat, there is another mind fuck involving the multiverse.

Here, of course, I use the word fuck in it's most loving sense.

Just one thing, and this is my mind's strange associations, the last line-
'Perfect equations of unknown zeros mark our way.'
It made me think of the fact that Roman numerals have no symbol for zero, which caused their limited mathematical abilities and their copy-cat nature (they stole much of their stuff, even their gods, from the Greeks) and possibly contributing to the decline of the Roman empire.
So that last line reads to me
Perfect equations of unknown zeros mark our decline.

Hey, you can't control your reader.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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