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Stepford I

But for the cold calculating stare
of electric blue orbs
lightening flashing through them
you would think it human

Others blind their eyes
and deafen their ears
when in her presence

Faint whirs and clicking
are the only clue
that she no longer lives

Once filled with life's passion
flowing through every vein
the sole giving of all
to flora,fauna and mankind

soft murmuring voices
not unlike that of an old party line
once gave comfort

But the humanity she so loved
began tearing
piece after piece
of her flesh and bone

Voices became louder
more decernable
screaming words of hate,rage and anger
till not a shadow was left
from the essence of her being

Now
walking among them that are loathed
for creating the entity
standing before you

No longer to remember
the world that she knew
for there is no longer life
and she is reborn
of the hatred of man

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
those that saw the movie The Stepford Wives will know where the title came from
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hi Lynn,
no, I don't recall the Stepford Wives, but I would guess that your poem is about a much-beloved cat. what else could it be? Correct me if I'm mistaken. Our blue-eyed pure-white girl died six months ago and she is sorely missed. Aside from a couple of typos, I can't see much to critique; yours is a passionate poem in memory of a beloved cat. I love it. Jerry

thank you for reading. I have fixed the typos
A cat , sorry no not a cat
a women alive and passionate until society and the like turned her bitter and cold as an android

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

author comment

Sorry, Lynn; I might have known. Where is my brain?
Please, have a great day. Jerry

of small crits. I would use [has] instead of is, in the 7th stanza, first line.
And [of] instead of from in the last line. I remember Stepford Wives and was scared every time I saw a suburban Mommie in the supermarket; for years afterward! LoL I got the drift right away. ~ Geezer.
.

Come to Chat on the Darkside
every other Saturday night 8pm to ?
Bring your dark and delicious work
to show.

thank you for visiting my poem
the is was suppose to be she so loved ( fixed that one)
yes I do like using of a lot better sounds more poetic
thanks for the suggestions
I was intrigued by that movie but then I am a fan of Ira Levine
I read the book (which is always better) before I saw the movie

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

author comment

..check spelling and punctuation? This is pretty awful.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

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