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I feel the cave in
The sudden shift under proverbial foot
When all the hard learned lessons
& the calm wisdom, goodwill & resilience I built up as my “self”
(“Who am I?”)
give way, & I tumble, flailing
into the seething abyss of past hurt, loss
& sense of being wronged
Without forewarning
without defense
or ANY kind of sensibility
Overwhelm pours into every cell
I could ‘pop’ …at any contact
the tears & snot & toddler wailing burgeoning under tight red skin
We do our dance “It isn’t fair”
…& she in her own space of overwhelm & pain
A plump companion she hugs close & defends from any chance of separation
My heart aches for her choice of comfort
& from her prickly “Push-me-pull-you” interactions
Neither of us feel safe
Both feel abandoned & bereft
Yet cultivate layers of impenetrable membrane
It filters out the love & good intention I know we both
Hold up like white flags of truce.
Dear one, I wish you well.
I am grieved that you were witness to my own pain in a vulnerable moment
& more-so that you saw it as an affront to your own drama & turmoil.
I feel so feeble in the face of your resentment & judgement
& all I want to offer you is love untainted
Care that reaches you in strength & empowers you to move forward
I curse the tentative fashion of my offering
the remorse I feel at failing to reach you with intended goodness… again
How I hate this step-drama.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Very quick response to a long phone call last night which left me reeling in mother guilt, angst & a sense of helplessness on a few levels... so I worked through it by writing this.... I know it needs work, it's hardly a poem at this stage... more of a story of feelings, with a small amount of poetic expression... feel free to weigh in... I'll be rewriting.
Editing stage: 


as promised, I am here to read what is supposed to be ur latest. A hard bite in most of it. Would like to see it after the revisions, if any


Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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