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Static For Precious

fringe cacophony
fiendishly abuzz
a distant dirge
mingles into
merciless wind
dusted with
skin felt audio
tainted with grit
when amplified silence
becomes shelter

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
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Comments

The ice has made you un-lucid.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

your sense of metaphors please highlighted me more, I'd like to know what inspired the poem, yours lovely, I'm thinking of gust moments thriving on the slake of inspiration , and you writing this poem for a feeling, please broaden a description to me

it sounds like you think I wrote the poem. David did.

I confess I found the poem unlucid.
No doubt it is my failing.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

i'm addressing that to david

This poem just gets better and better.
I hope the reading helps
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/static-for-precious-by-david

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

was written back when I was living under a bridge. I was gaining critical, and skeptic momentum, and too much of what was going on around me blurred into static. it takes time to detox ones self from the buzz of society. It gets so people expect such invading concepts just because it is in a flattering frequency. So it is like society is flipping through radio stations and nothing factual, or non sensational doesn't stand a chance. Some even "squint" their ears to listen for interpretations to abstract static, and ambiguous media.

Thank you Jess for the read.

author comment

A pure canvas shows pollution.
So why does society sell only tainted canvas for the youth of today?
Creativity, rationality, and enrichment are drowned out by advertisements, and pseudoscience.

author comment

i liked the insights , it is nourishing

I didn't find the poem unlucid as Jess suggested, I really felt drawn into the words and a staccato rhythm that found itself in my mind as I read...there was a slide show of images for me that moved from one to the other with the feeling of fractured thoughts...nice work I thoroughly enjoyed the read

love Jayne x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

thanks for the comment.

author comment
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