Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Starfish

When you get close
it finds its way
into your nose and
fills your head,
but you need to be close,
sort of close.

It is the girls in
wear-less-competition and
men wearing thongs or
very loose trunks.

It’s a sand castle
starfish
child with a pail.
Your feet are suddenly buried
under the grains of the universe.

But after a time
it is the stories
while you are cooked
under the noontime sun.
The Titanic disaster
you in a dingy
out to sea
faring the weather while
looking for starfish.

This all crosses your mind as
you catch that first whiff of
ocean air...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

that this is about the smell of the beach? The sand in particular? I'm not sure that I get a smell from this one. ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

The ocean air. Was I that far off?
Let me know please.

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

when i read this the first time. I reread it and suddenly it made better sense! Sorry for the misread and ensuing confusing.
Guess I better start getting more sleep? As if that is going to happen. LoL
~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Poetry is but the work of mind, when you follow your mind then your pen interpretes.
Good lock sir.

Thank you,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

Good one, Mark. I like the imagery, the spacing and theme. At the same time, the various thoughts expressed in your poem are a little disordered, I think. Perhaps the hot sun does that to one!
Enjoyed, Gracy

*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

when one gets excited yes, thoughts begin to race a bit at least with me.
bye now,
.

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

this reminds me of a spring day I experienced long ago in Pensacola Fl. a day spent on a beach splashing in the tide pools. I was a bit *smoked up and playing in the beautiful blue/green salt water. I spotted a Ray cruising! thanks for the memory. good write.

(the) Cat
lol

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.