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in the stardust of a dream

In an iron sailboat
I begin the glide,
on the comet tail
of a dream

traversing the cosmos
it wound my way,
through the
unknowing Planets
to old strangers

on this journey,
the stardust
layering a new world,
is about to be gently
blown away,

as schizophrenic
butterflies escape
the corner of my grin

mysterious veils part
and closing eyes
twinkling with mist,

I shift...into a red dawn
onto the next plane.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


Your journey among the stars or of your feelings, I will talk about later when time permits and things have settled,
I think that your last word should be plain, as in area, or place, earth plain etc. I know you are flying but that word brings in a physical object to the poem, amidst the smooth journey through the feelings of other spaces.
You take care of you, as you are precious to the whole,
Yours as always Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

You have lent a mystical touch to this journey. Good to see you back and hope you are now doing better.

Much love and hugs,

raj (sublime_ocean)

We are all made of stardust. I like your capturing the ephemeral nature of our lives. The only thing is the word stardust sure has been worn thin. Maybe another term or word could be used? Star stuff, star's essence, star seed come to mind. Hope all is well with you as the heat begins to build in your corner of the world........stan

excellent poem Jane. i love your works they are very explosive,

I think I agree with Ian on the "Plain" vs "Plane" thing, but other than that, this is a wonderful write that takes one to places they have never been! Nicely done!

Yeah, I'm late but they say better late than never.. lol love this piece which has very good imagery and one helluva style. there are some very good new words for me too. what can I say? you already know you are one helluva poet and I have been inspired by you a few times..I wanna say thank you for sharing your poems and I really appreciate them very much.

Really miss you,

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