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Star Struck... [February contest]

Staring at the night-time sky
Darkness set with stars
A trillion lights meet my eye
I see Jupiter and Mars

Astonishment befogs my brain
Where do they go when it’s light?
What happens to them in the rain?
How do they pass from sight?

Are they gathered by a mystic being?
Do they put them in a jar?
Released at night to be seen
Thrown out to spread so far

Spirits walk the paths of light
Down to the earth they stride
We are children in their sight
On flaming stars they ride

Now the mystery takes a turn
Because we know better now
There’s so many stars that burn
We’ll go there; this we vow

The search for life among the stars
The heavens large and vast
We’ve progressed from horse to cars
Our lives are lived so fast

The spirits of the sky are bleached
With the light of cities grown
New heights of knowledge have been reached
What our telescopes have shown

Ancient gods, where did they go?
Star travelers, may return
Are we their children; I want to know?
My curiosity burns

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Exelent flow,
Loved to fly with the lines
Loved to hear a voice of a child asking all these tricky questions.
The images of the gods with the jar full of stars and bright cities bleaching the sky with their lights.
Sweet poem.

IRiz

I was trying to give the impression of the first men on Earth and what they must have thought about the lights of the heavens. As we progressed to the modern day and we now think differently about what the stars are now and that we may someday travel among them. The last part is to wonder if the gods that we once worshiped might be alien visitors from outside this solar system. Glad you liked it.

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author comment

Exquisite poem and in my opinion a strong contender to win the February Contest...

Regards and best wishes...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I cannot win the contest, but I am glad that you think it would be a strong contender. Thank you.

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