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Stand To Win

Submitted by Search on Wed, 2012-03-07 01:21

What do you stand to win?
Everything
And what will you lose?
Everything
Why challenge yourself?
It will be worth it in the end
Even though they doubt your skill?
I will prove them wrong
After all the times you failed?
I will get back up
Though you know what lies ahead?
I have gotten this far
To slay the greed of others?
To approach a dream
Why even try?
I stand win
To fall
To rise.

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
With everything to gain and everything to lose, its worth a shot.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

Cloudthings

Wed, 2012-03-07 05:04

Cloudthings's picture

Great sense of attaining balance, being positive & accepting "what is" here. Very clear & direct & no doubt it felt satisfying to write & heartening to express... as it should... This is a good thing to do, this is like an affirmation poem really isn't it... Good for the soul.

Cheers
A

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

Nordic cloud

Wed, 2012-03-07 08:40

Nordic cloud's picture

The rhythm of this is enchanting
as we see two people speaking
and the play between the negative and positive
batted back and forth, I liked.

Just listen to:-

I stand to win
To fall
To rise.

James Joyce would like this,
he listened to the tennis players I remember in one of his books,
that tock, tock, tock, tock fascinating him.
Although I suppose his was only imagined, we heard it just the same.

"To slain the greed of others?" ...would it be slay?
"I stand win" ...to win, or a comma or new line.

Good stuff yours Nordic cloud.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

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