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STAND AND FIGHT

Buffalo’s without a leader
Can’t achieve no good pasture
Buffalo’s with no unity are like food to the wild Fulani’s
If we say we are warriors,
Why not now that our homes are ablaze,
why should we fold our hands when heads still fall.

As one we shall stand and fight
Forget the governance
Only a grave compliment
They have seen yet speak none.

When two wrongs collide
A fresh right emanates
For how long will our blood quench their thirst?
For how long will the caps of our houses be bared?
Agatu I remember and that was yesterday
Today enough meals for the rancorous vultures to feast

Unite TIV, Unite Idoma, and Unite Igede.
Let this wall be pushed back
And the trumpet of revenge be blown
Let’s stand and fight, die as one,
Than have this Fulani’s merry us in division.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
LET'S STOP THE BENUE KILLING
Editing stage: 

Comments

nice one bro

always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing

really using the hoe is nothi a madness, thanks for the comment.

author comment

A nicely written piece Simon.It's really painful to lose one's brother, sister ,tribalman or woman to folks whose hands are itchy to draw sword, squeeze the trigger. But a call for violence or revenge may go no where far to bring a lasting peace.Peace is all we daily desire.Thanks for sharing Simon.

Peace is all we need but sometimes is good to defend your self thanks.

author comment

no apostrophe in Buffaloes, there should be an e. The apostrophe would make it possessive, which is not the intent. I do not believe that the word merry is the one you want, it is [marry]. Otherwise, a good solid poem. ~ Geezer.
.

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This reads as a call to action for something that is happening now. The poem is impassioned as it should be. I have a few ideas for improvement. I hope you don't mind my copying your poem here with the changes incorporated. And of course these changes are only suggestions so you are free to disregard any or all of them :

Buffaloes without a leader
Can’t achieve good pasture
Buffalo’s with no unity are like food to the wild Fulani’s
If we say we are warriors,
Why, now that our homes are ablaze,
should we fold our hands while heads still fall.

As one we shall stand and fight
Forget the governance
Only a grave compliment
They have seen yet speak none.

When two wrongs collide
A fresh right emanates
For how long will our blood quench their thirst?
For how long will the caps of our houses be bared?
Agatu I remember and that was yesterday
Today too many meals for the rancorous vultures to feast

Unite TIV, Unite Idoma, and Unite Igede.
Let this force be pushed back
And the trumpet of retribution be sounded
Better to stand and fight, die as one,
Than have this Fulani’s merry us in division........(I am unsure what you mean by "merry"but I think this might not be the word you need)
I hope this has been of some help for you......stan

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