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Stalker's End...

She sang real low and slow
all the blue and dangerous tunes
He studied the stars again
threw dust at the bloody moon

His eyes were wild and crazy
his forehead drenched in sweat
She had him tied in knots
as insane as you can get

She left the bar past midnight
he was about spring
Then he heard a dangerous growl
He felt a wicked sting

He turned to see a vampire dog
black with huge red eyes
A big man stood there with him
between him and his prize

The monster tried to snatch her
the man grabbed him by the wrist
A wicked gleaming knife
was gripped in his other fist

His prize about to get away
he twisted and he turned
he called for her, his queen
his heart began to burn

She was half way down the alley
Killer yelled at her to run
He said, don't stop until you're home
you don't want to see what's done

Now that his queen was gone
he turned to face the pair
He pounded his chest, screamed with rage
and he tore his hair

"You'll pay for this, I'll kill you both
I'm magic, don't you know?"
Killer said; "You don't understand
your evil has to go."

Anubis leaped and tore his leg
Killer sliced his arm
The monster kicked out at the dog
and waved a spooky charm

Now Killer had him by the throat
slid the knife into his gut
The monster looked amazed at this
and he stammered; bu...bu...but

Killer said, "We are protected
for we do a righteous thing
We will stamp out your evil
and the misery you bring"

With that, he ripped on upward
and let the blood gush out
the monster swore an oath
at Anubis' bloody snout

The barbecue was delicious
the neighbors didn't know
what kind of evil that they ate
and the singer didn't go

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
A little long, but...
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I read this poem to fast the first time, it was like gobbling down a really good cookie! So I had to read it again more slowly.(which is hard because of the intended fast pacing!) my favorite lines are:

Killer said, "We are protected
for we do a righteous thing
We will stamp out your evil
and the misery you bring"

well done!!!
*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

excellent title and fast flow...

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

"The first cookie is meant to be eaten fast, because your mouth needs to get the full flavor, the rest of them are to satisfy the soul." So glad that you were entertained. ~ Geez and the boys.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

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