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The Spoiled Light

I'm not a number
I'm a fool man
in a cell
a divisive construction
my eyes were peeled
cursed and bared
perverse to have cared
I may stumble blindly
to the food hole
but I can see alright
don't you think I cant see

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
unleash . . . I can take it
Editing stage: 

Comments

you see all too well! Looks like you DO have a future! Good work. ~ Geezer

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

now really think about what you are saying.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

about lines 3 and 4? whatever anyway . . . I hear you

author comment

"don't you think I cant see"....

The tree for the forest? The absence for the presence?

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cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I take this as a person inside one of those prisons.
Anna and Jess are saying about seeing or not seeing, the only quote I know of that type is:-
" I cannot see the woods for the trees" used to indicate a stubborn person or one that no matter what you tell them they always are unable to see the point.
I guess I shall be corrected on this one but that's how we learn.
I am off to my Slang book to see when this statement started,
Yours Ian.T

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I applaud your resolve. People don't know.

"It's easier to fool people than to convince them they've been fooled." - Mark Twain

author comment

That phrase is not in my slang book, mind you I think it is a little out of date now, it was printed in 1974, not a bad year though lol.
Take care have a great day, Yours Ian.T
PS:- update 23-30 10/11/14..if someone can't see the wood for the trees, they are unable to understand what is important in a situation because they are giving too much attention to details, J Sparrow chap 12 verse 28

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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