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Spider

The colored leaves
Hide my eyes

The spider web
Retrieves my rhymes

Wrapped in silken
Bed she lies

Her pillowed head
Spun sunset die

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage: 

Comments

the line
Retrieves my rhymes
could be re-worked, IMO,
perhaps
Bespeaks my rhymes,
just a suggestion.

Not sure about the last line either
Spun sunset die[s]

I like it, but it could use some work.
Or I am stupid.

cheers,
Jess
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