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Speculations of a Bored Delivery Driver

The delivery ticket
Said “please ring i“

And I made a mental note
To ring the buzzer
At the right apartment

But my brain didn’t stop there

I thought of how it could mean:

To get things in my life
That would revolve around myself
Like the rings on Saturn
Rely on me and make
My life more meaningful
And beautiful
And full

Or:

To call myself up
And have a conversation
Back and forth
With every kind of talk
From small
To deep
Get to know me,
Myself and I
Again and more

Or:

To marry myself
Since I definitely need
That commitment
That lifelong love,
Even if I am not always
My own type

By the time I made it
To the door
I was thinking
Of what it would mean

To “please ring b”
And “please ring c”

And I rang apartment Y

Because I was wondering,
Why,
For the love of God,
Do I do this to myself?

Perhaps because
A few puzzles
Will help get me
Where I'm going

In the car
Or when I don't have an order
To deliver

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Comments

Have you ever tried to write actual stream-of-consciousness? Bloody hard to do. For starters it is impossible, but don't let that put you off. The mind works in many more dimensions than the written word. Or does it? Is it? Who can say? Avvagoyamug!

For research you could try James Joyce's "Ulysses", see you in six months or so. [grins]

cheers,
Jess
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stream of consciousness does seem like a very hard thing to do. I'll have to try it sometime... brain flow. thanks, jess!
greg

author comment

Interesting stream of thought and irony. But I would definitely drop the last stanza, the same as the title. Just end it

And I rang apartment Y

Because I was wondering,
Why,
For the love of God,
Do I do this to myself?

That works!, playing with Y and "why".

I would also just cut both these:

But my brain didn’t stop there
I thought of how it could mean:

We know that, that's what the poem is about. Try reading the poem without it, I hope you will see what I mean. The fun of the poem is how you go where you go...and telling us the obvious does not add to that fun.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

thanks for the suggestions, Eumolpus. I agree, the ending line is unnecessary, since it's in the title. ended it a little bit differently. I definitely learn a lot in life from puzzles. thanks!
greg

author comment

thanks for the suggestions, Eumolpus. I agree, the ending line is unnecessary, since it's in the title. ended it a little bit differently. I definitely learn a lot in life from puzzles. what do you think?
greg

author comment

is so direct that it almost hurts!

To marry myself
Since I definitely need
That commitment
That lifelong love,
Even if I am not always
My own type

the rebounding of the ego in this society. Good poem.

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