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The Sparrow...

Small brown and black trimmed bird
Sat on the fence to look at me
Chirps and twitters barely heard
Winged cheer so wild and free

Small voice that whispers wisdom
Sometimes goes unheard
But, I have learned to listen
To my favorite bird

He counsels me of dangers seen
From his perch up high
He tells of places he has been
Seen with Sparrow's eye

Fast, he flits from branch to eave
A thousand times a day
Nests of twigs and threads he weaves
There isn't time to play

Dust baths in the arid places
His mate brings nestlings food
No time to rest, feed those faces
They rear the hungry brood

See them swirling in the sunlight
Disappear into a hedge
Fantastic fliers, superb in flight
Pilots with an edge

The brood is gone from the nest
Time to fatten up
Winter is nature's test
Gone is the Summer's cup

Goodnight, sleep tight my little sparrow
Cuddle close to kin
It's alright, this night my little sparrow
What a day it's been

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
For my favorite bird and friend.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Excellent, I've always enjoyed watching sparrows while out with my camera. But I think your words have presented the perfect picture. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

I like observing nature's creatures and the sparrows are one of my favorites! They make themselves at home wherever they may find themselves. ~ Gee.

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You have flown high and true and you have a honed homing instinct for the seeds of verse. I can truly say that for this poem, Sparrows are my favourite flying friends and the poet, Sparrow is in good company.

the Sparrow. I've seen them do some amazing flying!
Gee.

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You have flown high and true and you have a honed homing instinct for the seeds of verse. I can truly say that for this poem, Sparrows are my favourite flying friends and the poet, Sparrow is in good company.

first of all, my favorite lines are:

Small voice that whispers wisdom
Sometimes goes unheard
But, I have learned to listen
To my favorite bird

He counsels me of dangers seen
From his perch up high
He tells of places he has been
Seen with Sparrow's eye

I agree, birdy action can warn us of danger not just of storms on the horizon but of dangerous animals in the woods. I am not used to this style of poem from you, and it is a pleasant surprise! smooth rhyming from start to finish. I much enjoyed the theme :)

*hugs, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

I thought that you meant it being a rhyming poem, but then I realized that you have seen many Killer poems in that style, so I quickly realized that it wasn't about the form, but about it being a nature poem. Yes, I do write these things occasionally! Glad you liked it! ~ Gee.

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author comment

As a Sparrow I am honoured that you should write such a great piece, Laughing from high in the trees..
Here we have about 24 Sparrows we look after all the year they are a constant joy to us, they are small and not thinking about what the world does they just give us joy..
Yours as always,
Little Sparrow..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

pleasure to write such a poem about my favorite bird and for a special friend. You always give good advice and are quick to help out the fledglings here at Neo. Hence, I thought of you as I wrote about this little bird. ~ Gee.

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author comment

be they seedsters or raptors
all beautiful
Knew of those that raised
crows...ravens
owls even
and a Starling!
but the Freebirds are the
best!

Excellent observations
put to Poem!

Thank U Geezer!

Mr Wolf!

Suits you! If there were an astrological-sign known as the Wolf; it would be yours! lol
Canny, singing your song to the wind. Yes, all birds are beautiful, but the Sparrow has a special place in my heart. I think it is a most fantastic flyer and yet unobtrusive and not a braggart or flashy sort. I've seen them at work as pairs and watched them as a flock, drive off predators like cats and crows. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Gee.

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My friend there is a star system known as Lupus, a constellation at that, which is as our milky way.
Lupus as you will know is Latin for Wolf.
Lupus is one of the 48 constellations listed by the 2nd century astronomer Ptolemy, and it remains one of the 88 modern constellations, although it was previously an asterism associated with the neighboring constellation Centaurus.
Long live the Wolf, be he a young creature that with his enthusiasm brings us raw pleasure, or a vast constellation, we love him all the same,
Yours as always, Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

I nearly thought
you were praising our sparrow
Ian you know

I am sure it was a tribute to me,
if not why not, past that I cannot see
As all the Sparrows I look after here
Are scruffy little mud bathers my dear.

Now the words that flowed from that pen
Praise all the things I am, then,
I bathed in the light of being mentioned
By my friend, and knew it was intentioned.

I am the Sparrow of words singing here
Not a bad word could I hear.
Thank you all my word sure admirers.
This has warmed my heart with sure fires

La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, Tweet..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La,

you Ian tweet me
Tweet.

I like the theme and the rhythm chosen to accompany it, which I read as constant, up to the slight change for the last verse, which I like.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
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