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SPARKS

Another log tossed on the fire
sending sparks up through the flue
like souls escaping from the pyre
whose heat spirals them from view

And we sit here side by side
on this cold late winter night
in contented silence we abide
hypnotized by dancing light

Whose flames carry me far away
to folks and places back in time
where I can remember every day
which passed like a clock's fleeting chime

Back when the man beside you was
thick-haired, handsome, full of youth
never giving thought or pause
to how years alter self or truth

But like a spark as it cools down
my thoughts return where they began
and drift back to our piece of ground
to this old and balding man

So as we sit and drink our wine
I admire both fire and view
and as our fingers intertwine
there's no doubt I still love you

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
with Sue on valentine's eve
Editing stage: 

Comments

A lovely valentine...

So as we sit and drink our wine
I admire both fire and view
and as our fingers intertwine
there's no doubt I still love you

and without the traps of being sappy. Your delivery is right on!

always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks for visiting and such kind comment. I Try to avoid being Too sappy lol...........stan

author comment

"A poet's work is to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world, and stop it going to sleep.
Salman Rushdie

I want to see passion, challenging beliefs, antagonism from you. Otherwise you remain a mere pastoral poet.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

"Welllll.....You don't always get what you want, but sometimes it goes you find.....you get what you need"
rolling stones lmao. I just so happen to have written a little social commentary piece the other day. I'll try to post it today. PS nothing wrong with being a "mere " pastoral poet. No different than being a "mere" angry poet........stan

author comment

sometimes I have even loved your wussie poems. Just take it as a comment from my dark side, no offense.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I hardly expect you or anybody else to like everything I write, I hope I'm not That egotistic lol. No offense taken for you were only saying what you felt................stan

author comment

Good to hear your poem. I say hear because my fiance has to read it for me. Im blind in my left eye and right eye is right behind it. I wish i had meet sandra early in my life, as you meet your soulmate. Take care . Huey.

It's really great to hear from you. Sorry to hear about your vision problems though but at least you've somebody who loves you enough to read even this to you lol............stan

author comment
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