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The Space Race... Song, or, The Species of Hate...

The Space Race.. Song, or,
The Species of Hate….

Just a song from a shiny spaceman,
he didn’t really sound so far out.
I wonder if the leaders knew his clan,
are we just living with an alien’s lout?

When he lands will he think we’re odd,
is it best for us to act submissive .
Could he have an answer from a god,
will he be instructed to let us live.

Would you believe him if he then said,
man was not meant to rule the earth.
Wouldn’t it waste the wealthy man’s head,
especially if they’d had wealth from birth.

I wonder, if he chose the worm to lead,
could they dig us for their fishing mate.
Would worms demand that we concede,
we have developed as the specie of hate.

What part of earth should we try defend,
such arrogant animals as we’ve become.
Imagine the cheers as we without friend,
wave a white flag while kissing an alien’s bum.

Would we beg forgiveness of our sins,
be like the good dog falling at heel.
Sidelined as a smart new life begins,
no creature considering what we feel.

Does this verse seem familiar to you,
what if this thing is not of man.
But a different creature, something new.
with a kinder more inclusive plan.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Just watched a program about Bowie lately, and this sort of floats in..
Editing stage: 

Comments

a couple of tiny things
‘specie’ – ?should be ‘species’ …

and
‘I wonder if he chose, the worm to lead,’
the comma belongs after ‘wonder’
ie – ‘I wonder, if he chose the worm to lead,’

I like this – fun but with an important question

my only crit is that I don’t think the meter is up to your usual standard – it is a little choppy in places.
the rhyme as usual is excellent, except at ‘familiar/creature’ – I’m not sure that passes even as near rhyme… at least not to my ear

one suggestion
'Does this verse seem familiar to you,
what if this thing is not of man,
but a different creature, something new,
with a kinder more inclusive plan?'

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thank you judy, i have made the changes you suggested and think it sounds better. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

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