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Space

When the sun won't let you sleep,
what do you do? Is your mind quiet?
Or as loud as your ears being filled
with water? Do you get goose bumps
as the vibrant color of the sun rises
as to say that its morning on your
side of earth? Do you think about how
happy you would be with a little more
darkness litten up by stares? Do you
think about the biggest star? Do you
think about your biggest love?

How some people call him a shooting star
when he's really an asteroid hurtling
towards your heart. How he rotates
around your heart just to make a crash
landing. How he seems to make all the
stares in the world a line into a perfect
picture. How he makes space turn into
a mysterious universe, every corner is
something new to discover. How his eyes
simply turn into stares itself. How he makes
everything turn into a constellation.

How he makes love seem worth all the pain for
him. How he paints the world with a warm
atmosphere. but that's just him. and I'm
just me. we will never be an us. we will
never be in the same world.

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I wrote this about someone near and dear to me and i wanted to share my experience likeing him with you. :)
Editing stage: 

Comments

I felt it as I have felt for others, well, one other.

I don't know why it has gone uncommented so long. What do you reckon?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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