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Sovereignty...

The sovereignty of ownership
and a tale of lies
outweighs the council of friendslip
is a word to the wise

Chances are that gambling
involves a coming clean
take off the stealthy ring
Gollum's journey to be seen

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

what a powerful piece, your language is pefect

Chances are that a gambling--- do you need the a?

your last lines are brilliant.

Thank you...Teddy

that you may, in fact be right. I was going for a sort of old English feel, but I do believe that it is not necessary to the line.
Thanks, ~ Gee.
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author comment

So wonderful this, Gollum gave me nightmares for real. He is quite a shocking character. There's a big impact in your language and it just works perfectly. And yes your title gives this supreme power... Is it spelt Gollum?

Thank you...Teddy

Hi, Geezer,
LOTR! My, precious! Wonderful language! I'm sure you know that J. R.R. Tolkien created languages in his writings, especially the Elvish. I feel the spirit and the nature of the language here - and an eeriness, too. When reading, I hear the voice of Gandalf. Wonderful!
Thank you,
L

I did know that Tolkien created languages just for his stories. What a marvelous writer! I'm glad that you liked it and heard the voice of a wise and loyal friend. That is the spirit it was written in. ~ Geez.
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keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
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author comment

Conquered by true friendship and the lesson learned - who may be your friend, truly?
Masterfully done Gee,
Mark

Please comment anywhere anytime.

I do believe that you have the story correct. That is exactly the spirit it was written in. I'm glad you liked it and understood the premise. ~ Gee.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

author comment
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