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Sovereignty...

The sovereignty of ownership
and a tale of lies
outweighs the council of friendslip
is a word to the wise

Chances are that gambling
involves a coming clean
take off the stealthy ring
Gollum's journey to be seen

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

that you may, in fact be right. I was going for a sort of old English feel, but I do believe that it is not necessary to the line.
Thanks, ~ Gee.
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It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

Hi, Geezer,
LOTR! My, precious! Wonderful language! I'm sure you know that J. R.R. Tolkien created languages in his writings, especially the Elvish. I feel the spirit and the nature of the language here - and an eeriness, too. When reading, I hear the voice of Gandalf. Wonderful!
Thank you,
L

I did know that Tolkien created languages just for his stories. What a marvelous writer! I'm glad that you liked it and heard the voice of a wise and loyal friend. That is the spirit it was written in. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

I do believe that you have the story correct. That is exactly the spirit it was written in. I'm glad you liked it and understood the premise. ~ Gee.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment
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