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Southern State...

Submitted by Geezer on Tue, 2022-08-30 16:42

The eerie sounds of swamp-life
muted animal calls
take possession of my senses
from beyond the foggy wall

The sound of dripping water
from gently rowing oars
The gentle shuss of the boat
helps my heart to soar

Gators gliding, spiders weaving
webs to be caught in
The air is pregnant with the smell
the frogs make such a din

Eyes that shine in the darkness
coons up in the trees
Light up the bugs and attract them
mud up to your knees

Louisiana nighttime
Cajan party time
Voodoo priests and spells
Applejack instead of wine

Snakes that slither in the dawn
of the early morning light
The rosy sun that greets you
is such an awesome sight

So, as the fog is lifting
I dip my head and pray
Let me stay like this forever
On this Louisiana day

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Jackweb

Tue, 2022-08-30 23:28

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'The air is pregnant with the smell'. That's a very powerful line of personification.

Incomparable poetic power so beautiful by the awakened flame---displaying right perception in contemplative thought.

Nice job!

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Geezer

Wed, 2024-03-13 10:26

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so long for me to respond to your comments, I was reading some older stuff and found that you were the only one to comment. I figure that I should respond, thank you very much for seeing something in this. ~ Geezer.
.

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Candlewitch

Wed, 2024-03-13 13:13

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I do not know if I can translate how reading this poem made me feel! I read out loud as well as in my head. I read it in a soft voice, sort of hushed and low... I felt the quiet tones of the animal movements...the almost silent. As the slippery Alligator slid into the tepid waters of the swamp. All but covered, up to his eyes, gliding along. Bravo!!!

*hugs, Cat

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Geezer

Wed, 2024-03-13 21:25

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that I could make you feel that way! I tried hard to let my memory serve me and how I felt that day so long ago. I think my life would have been so different if I had stayed there or gone back when I had the chance. Who knows? I might have been on the TV catching alligators! LoL Thank you for your lovely comments, you always make me feel like I'm doing something right.
Love ya, Geez and the boys.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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Candlewitch

Thu, 2024-03-14 14:20

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Your flexibility and knowledge of writing has always amazed me. I am glad that I have had the opportunity to follow you and learn from you. I have learned generosity and critiquing from you and how to be silent when it is appropriate. Thank you! xx

*hugs, Cat and eddy styx

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Geezer

Thu, 2024-03-14 19:31

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the good fortune, to be engaged with one of the finest poetry sites ever! I have grown and learned from my family here.
Before I found Neo. I was of the opinion; "If it doesn't rhyme, it not really poetry". I've tried many different forms of rhyme and free verse since; although I seem to think better in alternate rhyme lines, and that is my main type of verse. I have had the chance to learn from everyone in this great place. The smooth writers, unafraid and going down many different roads, the afraid to step out of their comfort zone, and the ones that every just once-in-a-while, write some of the most profound and beautiful work I have ever seen. We all have a place here, and I am so glad that I've found mine. Thank you much, from
Geez and "The Boys".

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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scribbler

Thu, 2024-03-14 23:36

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For a yank you sure caught the experience of being in a southern swamp

Geezer

Fri, 2024-03-15 10:04

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was a rebel and southern gentleman in a previous life. I do believe in reincarnation, and I loved being in the South all those many years ago, when my lungs were good, and I could take the humidity. Loved it! Thank you, Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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