Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

sounds of trumpets

At this past midnight hour
I hear sounds from a distant too far
The music is soft and mellow
can't say if its melody

The trumpets are hollow
the singer is shallow
can’t say
if I can grant sympathy nor empathy

but still in the silence of the night
music reverberates into the loneliness
which one does berate
tis time to switch off and go to sleep
tomorrow I have another date
with destiny to keep

Extempore as before,
I know no less no more,
shall retrace my footsteps,
if you want
more symphony, for sure

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

your theme, but have a few thoughts about how to make it a little bit more readable.
I would eliminate the second stanza, as you describe the music as being the exact opposite as in the first.
I would also re-write the line that starts the third. [ I would leave off the [but still,]. The proper form that should be used for "extempore" would be [extemporized]. I really liked the lines that go: I hear sounds from a distance to far. I hope that you work this over a bit, because you have the start of something really good here. ~ Gee

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

wait and see
lets hear more first
before more soothing music
we thirst

loved

author comment

Your teme shows a restlessness in your ways, as if you cannot rest well or sleep when you should.
Still not sure where you are or what time zone but I always listen to music last thing at night when writing, even at this moment Peace Pipe by the shadows is playing in my head, see I must be able to multi task, so all those nasty things that women say about them being able to multi task and we can't are untrue lol.
As Gee says this needs a little attention spread it a little add some oomph to it, draw on those spiky bits, it is more lullaby than wake up call.
Sorry it is morning here now so I is awake lol.
Take care young Bard glad you missed me,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

typo
Th e trumpets are hollow [The trumpets are hollow]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

since corrected

loved

author comment

he he he I know the song well Loved, big smile nicely done :)

love Jayne x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

song-worthy

where did u hear it??
nice you have returned

loved

author comment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOAfz0H4f00

watch this lol

love Jayne xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

but my poetry has nothing to do with it
and they are a class viewed a million times

How did u happen to connect
I wonder
Such a poem I composed some years ago .
This one was a second wave
impulsively
What a coincidence thanks for the share...
and thinking so high!

loved

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.