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there is a silence deep
and unforgiving
a longing that tears
at your soul
and rips at your heart
with no mercy.
You count the time
with each breath
that you take
and stand alone
in this Godless world,
Heaven's lost promise.

Editing stage: 


This piece is sad and just your way of looking at things.
That Spirit inside is never quiet, it screams "I am Here"
It can take you to the ends of the universes,
as I am sure there are more than this one.
It can make you smile through all hardships.
Just learn to listen young man,
though there is a beauty in silence
I love continuous noise, it is a distraction from everything.
Keep faith with yourself Joe that is the only Spirit that matters
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

A list of sounds of solitude : The ticking of a clock. The swish of a ceiling fan, sound of pipes expanding or contracting, sigh of central heating. a lone coyote or crow calling, sound of one's own breathing or bones creaking, a far train whistle, the low moan of soft wind in the eaves, the slow drip of a faucet, the low gurgle of an aquarium pump. As you can see I'd likely have dragged this poem out a lot more than you did. But doing so would not have conveyed any more emotion than you did. Only suggestion to consider is to isolate the word "alone" in its own line and maybe even its own one word stanza................stan

I agree totally with Stan's comments regarding "sounds of solitude". In "Sounds of Solitude" is a good title you may give a thought to, for this solemn expressive write. You have the craft to make the words resonate thoughts. Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thanks Ian, Stan and Raj, There is a difference between solitude and loneliness,


author comment

Thanks Joe, after reading your and Ian's explanation I stand corrected

raj (sublime_ocean)

Loneliness is a feeling.
Solitude is a state.
Have a great day and look after you,
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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