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sorry Louise

Dammit you know they have not yet arrived.
It’s still only Louise and me I stress.
The selfish bitch won’t advise the triad
where I have moved to and my new address.
And all day all I do is think in rhyme.
There’s no-one here to counter-act her style
Louise just gets her way now all the time.
I give her a damn inch she takes a mile.
But just as I’m about to do her in
I look back at what we have been writing.
Something we’ve done catches my attention.
With Louise I am no longer fighting.
‘Tho I will check with my good friend Robert
I think we just wrote a perfect sonnet.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
some may remember louise - my rhyming muse....

Comments

You desribe most succinctly why I have, with one on-going exception, never indulged in a collaberation!

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

thank you
collaberation works well in my household when everyone's here.
when it's just louise all i hear is rhyme....

i presume your wife is your exception?

lol
judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

i would never dare call my louise lou....
(and don't tell her, but she's no-where near as good as our lou)

love and hugs
judd
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

My name is Louise and at first I thought you were attacking me LMAO.

A nice approach to the description of the struggle for inspiration.

Love Lou xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

you took a back flip with my other poem about louise too
rotflmao
i'd never call you a bitch, i like you too much....

thanks for the supportive comment
love
judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Thanks jude

Love Lou xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

so glad you remembered who louise is....
i wondered if i should re-submit my other poem about her again before this, but thought it a waste of people's time as it has already been critiqued...

love to you ss
and lots of huggles across that big desert
judd
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I wasn't worried lol

Lou xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

so glad you enjoyed it
as for liking louise - you can have her if you want... (smile)
(louise did help with the dunny poem, but the tacky one keeps trying to change it)
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

thank you
glad you enjoyed it

i guess sonnets aren't so boring
- not that you've ever said they are....
i'm referring to what seems to be the general consensis that they're out of fashion at the moment

love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Yes, I acknowledge Louise has played an important role. Enjoyed this novelty, Judy.
Regards
Ayaz

i'm so glad that you enjoyed this.
love
judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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