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Something's missing.

Something’s missing, Something grand
Something worth more than a thousand lands
A misplaced gold lost to sand
Belonging to fretful, worn-out hands

A bit of sky
A bit of soul
A foolish lie
That had been sold

Something’s missing, something whole
Something to fill these empty bowls
Worth more than flame in winter’s cold
Belonging to one whose loss unknown

A smidge of grain
A taste of glee
Amid the rain
That one can’t see

Something’s missing, A piece of me
Something I did not know I need
A fate unmet that I must please
Belonging to a poem- I’ve yet to read

A child’s wish forgotten still
A god’s plead-ful mumble
The little bird at windowsills
That none can bare to humble

Something’s missing, I do not know
Something I’ve yet to meet
Perhaps one day, when I’m alone
It will dare to speak to me

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is my first time posting a poem on here, I really want to improve my writing so please give me any feedback that you think I could use! thanks :)
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


the search for a poem or story that speaks to you especially! I read lots of poetry here on the site and I do find the occasional
piece that does speak to me personally. Of course, I do mostly write about every day, ordinary things that people encounter,
and I feel good about appealing to and finding subjects that others find appealing. I don't find anything that I would change,
A good piece of work! Welcome to Neopoet, it's good to see people really interested in improving their work and not just dumping poetry to get pats on the head. ~ Geezer.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Good formatting.
Great rhythm and cadence.

Very muchly enjoyed.

The one thing lacking is,,,,,, The next poem!


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