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Solitude

Submitted by chevyvent on Mon, 2017-06-19 21:08

whispers
a rain drop
quietness
seclusion
look inside we have nothing to hide
a premonition
seclusion

the woods
through the forest we see a glimmer of light
the absence of the good brings on the bad
Surrender to the force
quick conclusions will often lead the best of us astray,
the wisest move in life is but to wait
otherwise our galloping emotions run away,
like horses at the gate
spirituality
alone

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

lovedly

Mon, 2017-06-19 21:14

lovedly's picture

are u meant
perhaps
our

Geezer

Wed, 2017-06-21 16:26

Geezer's picture
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this could be two poems. I so enjoyed the first half of this.
The second part could use a bit of work though. I'd say that at least half of your lines are too long.
I'm sure that if you try, you can make them shorter to fit the rhythm/pace, without changing the meaning of the line. Your title is ok. ~ Geezer.
.

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