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A Soldier Lad ~ Idle Time Workshop

He, lying cold, this lonely night
Far from his home ~ some distant land,
The soldier lad who came to fight.

And marching tall, a-left, a-right,
A king's cadet at his command.
He, lying cold, this lonely night.

He feared the day, as well he might,
As his detachment made their stand,
The soldier lad who came to fight.

Then as the sky was rendered bright
With shells a-plenty bursting fanned,
He, lying cold, this lonely night.

His battle raging at its height,
There, midst the turmoil, trumped the band,
The soldier lad who came to fight.

So far away the morning's light
And late to come to reprimand.
He, lying cold, this lonely night
The soldier lad who came to fight.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This villanelle, in 8, 8, 8 (8) is dedicated to Gracy, her family members (no longer with us), and all the young men who lost the opportunity of a future by way of the world's conflicts. Compliments to all at Neo, Alan.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Dear Alan, thanks so much for dedicating this villanelle to me. It's perfect and, of course, so sad. Yes, my two uncles died "somewhere in France"...I have no nits, it's left me pondering about wars and how they could be avoided. Only answer would be to get these evil leaders out of power before they can have millions of lads killed in those distant lands, alone and afraid.
I'll return for another read, after others have commented. It's been snowing all day, but we managed to take our usual walk, it was fun.
Good night to all at neopoet, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Gracy. I hope that you are ok in the snow.
I too lost an uncle, in WW2 (before I was born though), in service in the Royal Navy. His ship, 'The Somme' was torpedoed in the Atlantic. I wrote a poem for him in 1992 (50 yeas after) which my late mother (his sister) was pleased about.
I have written a few 'war' poems for example:-

www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/quo-vadis-et-ego-rogabo-0

www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/scarlet-and-black-ww1-lament

www.mypoeticside.com/show-poem-115755

Sad, maybe? but they have to be said ~ lest we forget.

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Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

Good to read this tribute...i know not much about villanelle so nothing to critique about the form...

be well...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I am pleased that you visited. Yes, a villanelle is a quite disciplined write but they are fun to compose and are easy to read so I think that is why they are so popular.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

to try one yet myself, but I guess I will sooner or later. I am not in favor of war; [as many might think] but I do know that as long as there are people that want to dominate others and take their rights, we must; as decent people should, go to war. A sad fact and testament to the cruelty and greed of some leaders. Very well thought out and deftly put. ~ Geez.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

Geezer you compose the ending first. Once you get that right the rest fits into place (with luck). Rhyming is all important here.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

perfection as always. This poem left me in tears

Join us for the new workshop on Critique basic sign up now

join us for chat every [email protected];30 pm est

Will try a comedy next time, maybe.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment
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