Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Sojourn Weaver

After my morning's dawn surprise
the shadows whispered my name, aloud;
my mind had no way to process
because my memories began to crowd.

Then, I became as one of them
replaying over in my head,
all of the ones that brought me joy
but, the sad ones stayed instead;

and as I floated ever upward
my view increased ten fold,
I saw all my friends, and family
and they all appeared so old.

I noticed next, the air was thin
and there was the strangest chill,
I preferred not, to continue on
yet, I floated against my will!

Could no one else observe my lack
of gravitational respect?
In my mind, it existed not
and I was proof, that I was correct!

Then, I saw all my horizons.
My hills and valleys agreed to trade;
so a valley became a mountain high
with roads that seemed to fade.

So many there, had lost their way
and were sorrowful, and sad;
which caused the roads to dissipate
making everything worse, just a tad.

The sky was of an amber hue,
the clouds were mostly grey;
the more that I tried to focus
the shadows below, got in my way.

Then, the fog that picked me up
sat me down in a meadow, fair;
and by a weeping willow tree
I spied a silhouette, seated there.

The shape of an individual,
a female shape at that!
Even though, the distance was great
I longed to be where she sat.

After all, she was the only person
I had seen that was surely, true;
and though, familiar she was not
she seemed just like a girl I knew.

A rainy mist happened to form
directly above the meadow lands,
and a calmness chased my fears away
but, the mist burned both my hands!

I arrived beside the maiden, quick
for time seemed not to exist,
she wrapped my hands with an earthy salve
wrapping each hand to the wrist.

She giggled most unexpectedly
she saw my legacy in my eyes,
perhaps it struck her funny bone
because, I never won the Prize!

She then, said something in a way
that I couldn't comprehend,
she laughed, and spoke in a faraway tongue
that was beginning to offend.

Suddenly, as if to read my mind
she stood, then ran due south!
I was woozie but, I tried to yell
though every word froze inside my mouth!

I knew not what to call her by,
I kept following her swift, footprints;
when she realized, she slowed way down
and we've walked together ever since.

It seems she saw deep inside of me
and had a glimpse into my soul;
which showed no hidden agenda
to dissuade me from my goal.

Which really was quite obvious
I wanted not, to leave her side;
'twas then she spoke in my tongue
"You're in heaven.....but, you haven't died."

"There hasn't even been an ending,
and this isn't a brand, new start;
it's more like a graduation
and, your test scores are in your heart!"

"Now, you're on a plane of existence
that's different from where you were,
you can't act as you did in your human world
because, those tactics have become obscure!"

I, now float ever higher
as together, we explore this plane;
been tested all my life, in this regard,
so ignorance of truth, I couldn't feign.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I know, I know.....kind of a weird one, eh?
Editing stage: 


I really enjoy your telling of tales doc, this is the third I've read of yours this morn'. This poem sounds dream inspired, though more conscious than fragments often gleaned. I really liked the theme; and the internal logic seems consistent to me. From start to finish. The length of the poem also works well.

If I may ask, what was the inspirado behind this poem?

ps. 5th to last paragraph, last line, first word: ti? = it, or to

If I had it my way I'd be up on a mountain. Playing my guitar,
until my calluses grew calluses, my arse a chair and my smile into a halo was a "to". That's what happens when one tries to "rush". I'm very pleased that your discerning eye even caught this one!
Thanx, again;

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

...there was this contest; and the prompt was to provide a different perspective of something.
Thanx, again...

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

...I realize it was a little lengthy, but you know how us "gangster poets" do it, right?
Thank-you, sincerely;

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.