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So I Let A Darling Go

I promised I will let one darling go,
I'll open the cage and shoo it out,
let it live all by itself
in the wild,
where scheming hunters (not unlike
yourself)
may pick at it, and when you're done
I'll be pleased to hear your thoughts;
they're treasures too, you know?

It's not as if there's much
contained in this, afterall,
most poems cannot be profound;
we've grown numb to such things,
God is not God,
but what we paint in churches,
and beauty,
the ugliness of industry, is
now in vogue.

But what I'll let you know is
this, the people have all walked
away, not realising that each
wasting day, I fade into the
thinness of the air, get lost
when they forget me too. I stand
alone where the moon's light
shines the least,
a bit in the shadows mainly
to keep off frights, but mostly
out of sight,
because it's fun to write and
let it speak to me, good one.

I'm willing to die, to burn,
feed my ashes to the clouds,
and maybe fall as rain.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Trouble with the title, I think. But I really want your thoughts on this. After a day, I'll start messaging people to critique this poem. UPDATE: I just changed it from "Letting Darlings Go" to "So I Let A Darling Go"
Editing stage: 

Comments

If you lable this something like "the free soul" there would be more connection between the first stanza and the rest of the poem, otherwise I see there is no much connection between these two unless I am missing something, but this remains an enjoyable piece with quite nice imagery.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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the first stanza is directly speaking to someone, a specific person in my life....the person I actually wrote this poem for. It's that "friend" I lost, so this might make things clearer for you. If she read it, she'll know fully well what it means.

For a more general explanation, I promised myself not to share as much poetry as I did the last month (http://seriouspoetry.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/to-share-or-to-keep/) so, out of seven poems I wrote yesterday, I decided to "Let one darling go", which is this poem.

To the reader who isn't her, I'm giving out this poem so you can read and share your thoughts on it, because I think those thoughts are treasures too.

.I hope it makes things clearer. Thanks for leaving a treasure behind :D

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

thanks for sharing the essence of this write and where it comes from...makes a lot more sense then..

raj (sublime_ocean)

This is the kind of feedback I want. I'm glad the context helped.

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment
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