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Snow Day

bendy buses
squiggle through
swarms of
yellow honks
and packaged pedestrians
grills and grates
belching steam
and screeches
beneath a fleet
of frozen feet


anesthetizing snow

a city succombs


from the constant cacophony


(wait for it)

the whirl and whine
from snowbound blowhards
start reving up their complaints
in frighteous indignation

"what's taking so long?"
"god damn politicians"
"union whores"

cabin fever has spread like the plague

oh, the humanity

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


Hey Brittle,

Really liked this one. It opens up beautifully, and I found the tone of that first stanza quite refreshing. If I could offer anything it'd be to perhaps play around with the changes in tone (i.e, the first to second stanza and then the section following the line, "wait for it"). This is not to say that it doesn't work in its current form, just that you may find ways to give those transitions even more impact. I love the way you've ended it, the voice has this sense of intrigue to it which just draws you in.

All the best,


thank you Nicholas

maintaining a consistent tone has always eluded me.
I always, after a piece is posted, swear that I'll stop writing after the first stanza, but never can follow through with that commitment.
I have no clue how to fix anything, but don't obsess over it either.
I accept my flaws, hoping there is enough 'good stuff" to warrant some validity to my work

that's it

thanks again


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