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Snow

How do I stay sane when seeing is only pain?
Brain tries to filter but to no avail
I hold my head in my hands with eyes closed
I search for clarity but only fail

Body trembles to the penetrating abuse
Ears ring to the vibrating bass
Tears stream down my fatigued face

'Unwanted glares; sunburst haloes
Awkward colours where no rainbow follows
Double vision; obscure shapes
Twisting & turning, I fall; no escape'

"The TV has a signal but only flickering dots do I see
The snow becomes a blizzard blinding my view
The static amplifies crafting only black & white
Visuals of noise becomes my only clear sight"

"The TV plays but only jumping blocks do I see
The snow becomes a storm blanking my view
The static increases painting only white & black
Visuals of sound becomes electric feedback"

How can I find a cure when sight is only a blur?
Head tries to compute but only fails
I scream out loud to still the building rage
I hold on tight but fall from the rails

Body trembles to the penetrating attack
I sway as my world begins to spin
I smile to hide the anxiety within

'Unwanted glares; sunburst haloes
Awkward colours where no rainbow follows
Double vision; obscure shapes
Twisting & turning, I fall; no escape'

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

you've just described the migraine I had the other day... when I closed my eyes I saw those damned flickering lights and starbursts. until I mercifully fell asleep. in this line:
Brain tries to filter but to avail (but to no avail)
the rest is perfectly pain-filled. I have no other suggestions. it is very good to see you my dear One!

*hugs, Sis

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

It seems we have migraines as a common trait...must be an affliction of genius poets! LOL!

regards

One.

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

author comment

LOL! I think you could be correct on that!!!

*love, Sis

~

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Choose evocative language. Your poem's title is an opportunity to lead with a gripping, memorable image.

Since the poem talks about migraine, I do no see snow as good title.

You have greatly composed a fine poetry! The rhythmic flow goes well and with a fine ending.

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

…As a migraine sufferer, snow is what I see in front of my eyes.

Sorry my title doesn’t give a gripping image, I like to think my poem does that.

Cheers

One.

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

author comment

Noted

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

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