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Silently into the night

Silently into the night
into the silence of the chilly night
with softest music did they us delight
a distant note on a lively accordion
followed by a reverberation on a violin

Silently into the night

sounds of soft musical lovely notes
to our ears were like soothing anecdotes
sounds of soft musical lovely notes
to our ears were like soothing anecdotes.

Silently into the night they strung
whistling by then had suddenly sprung....
blowing clarinets from distant sand dunes
were like variable softly played tunes.

Silently into the night

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

As I said 'post it' I have one suggestion on a second read

sounds of soft musical lovely notes
to our ears were like soothing anecdotes
sounds of soft musical lovely notes
to our ears were like soothing anecdotes.

In some instances using the same word so close together 'notes' and 'anecdotes' can strengthen a poem in this case I think it weakens the poem I would try and find alternatives for one set of the above words, there are many other choices and you can change your lines to fit better with the chosen words

just a suggestion of course, I liked the tone of this one I will come back to this when I can find time and maybe go over it again and see if there is anything else I can suggest

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

await till later
this has been in Q
for quite a while

loved

author comment
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